Our "Front Porch" ....

I agree brother, my wife thought it was her fault but I made sure she knew that it was my forgetful self's fault. Really, I shouldn't have put it in a freaking envelope without marking it or writing something on it. It wasn't in the trash, so hopefully that means it's still laying around the house somewhere. Probably on top of the fridge! Lol

Final Option said:
Well P92 if it wasn't in the trash there still is hope, either way don't get down on the wife or blame her, it is easy to be supportive and a good partner when things go well, however when there are some bumps as this and you behave like a good husband it will pay dividends beyond the money that is missing. Hopefully it was misplaced, good luck pal. And that 3 inch is very sweet!
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On a different note, I can't take it any more. I want the Flame folder from Rick that he did a while back. I haven't been able to stop looking at pics of them! Any of you guys have that model? If so, I'd love to see some pics. There's not a whole lot of pics online!
 
Used to own...

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Flame is on the right.
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Thanks Mike, those were the photos I've been staring at lately! I read that that particular flame was fixed up a couple years ago. Such a beautiful knife!
 
If I still held all the ones I used to have you guys wouldn't have any! I do know how to share. I even sold Firetacs #2,4 and 5. Still have #1 though. ;)
 
Ok guys time to follow Hammers lead! Start sacrificing, just send your penance to wowcoop! starting with gen one and two XM's
 
Ugh.

You guys remember the SIL & nieces living with us?

Well, just forced the issue of making the SIL (34 y/o btw) clean her filthy (understatement) room this weekend to discover 125 empty (and a couple of partially full) booze bottles crammed into her closet. Mostly 750s of vodka and whiskey, a couple dozen 1.75 liters as well.. Also discovered 3 of my 6 "collector" (bottles I picked up at various AF bases w/ commemorative labels on them for the base, that I was going to save and break out at my retirement party) of Jack Daniels Single Barrel among the empties. Also discovered a fourth one, along with a bunch of other bottles, in the bar drained down to an ounce of so. (I guess I don't get into the bar all that often.)

125+ bottles (who knows how many made it to the trash unknown) in less than a year! We moved into this house last April. Also discovered the bottle of Tramidol left over from our dog's pain treatment before she passed was emptied too... I had just neglected to dump it out and it sat in the bin of meds in the pantry..

Wife and I are just sick about this. Anyone ever dealt with something like this and have any advice?

We're looking into programs, but this is all new to us.
 
Shane, couldn't be more sorry to hear of what you and your wife are about to go through should you choose to do so.
Addiction is an evil fog that surrounds all that stay within its reach, frought with lies and deceipt and destruction.
That is a serious amount of alcohol and other substances, amazing the problem hasn't shown itself in spades just from sheer volume.
Some addicts are especially accomplished at appearing quite functional but it is only an appearance.
Chances are the manifest behavior is the tip of something far deeper but that is a matter for professionals.
Forgive me and my memory, I seem to remember there are children involved and there lays the real tragedy otherwise my "advice" would be far more brief.
I am a big believer in forgiveness, second chances and redemption BUT only when it is requested not forced, part of a package deal of change and even after all that it is a losing proposition most of the time.
The addict really is the only one that can determine the end date of the addictive behavior and not the addiction - that remains for a lifetime.
There are people out there (thank God) who can help but still..... If she, will she, are all the questions not yet answered and the lies that usually continue are life energy depleting exercises in frustration and doubt.
The Christian/Natuaral never say never, never quit side of me says one thing - the 53 year old been there done that side says something very different.
You and your wife have a life replete with its own crosses to bear to live, discuss it and proceed carefully.
This is a rough sea that has ruined many.
My 20+ year struggle (with one) ended in suicide.
I may not be the right one to offer advice just be careful, be a good steward and to the best of your ability try and make the right choice which may not be the easiest choice.
God Bless.
 
Rubi,

Thank you for the words my friend.

She seems to want/be willing to accept help. She broke down as soon as we discovered the bottles and said she has been wanting to come clean for a while but was embarrassed.

We had noticed her seeming intoxicated on occasion, but nothing so severe as to trip our radar - expect that it has been occurring more frequently lately. This was a big part of why I forced the issue, I had my suspicions.

Her two daughters are here, 11 & 5. I can't but assume that the 11 yo has to have seen the bottles, since she regularly puts laundry away in the closet. SIL is also going through a tough divorce w/ douchebag husband. We hope that was the impetus for the booze, etc, and can be overcome. Time will tell.
 
Booze is the great escape and as the addiction progresses mixing it with pills becomes the solution to greater tolerance (the booze doesn't work as fast or as completely thus the pills) unfortunately it is also the most dangerous thing someone can do.
It is encouraging that she seems willing to seek/accept help. Be firm while being compassionate. Addicts are masters at manipulation, it is how they string out the life style.
The Professionals can advise better but many of them are "in" the profession because of their own demons so beware that experience as well.
I find the "solutions" often times to be simply addiction substitution. 12 step for booze, AA/NA for pills and drink. The addict just becomes addicted to the cure.
Whatever, it's better than the drink and drugs which will end up killing her or God forbid one of her family or an innocent.
Chances are she has other hiding places and then its severing the connected behavior, friends, etc..
Again, the Pros will have more direction and answers.
Don't lose sight of each other (you and your wife) this will be stressful, and trying.
You have "Here" and "Us" as well for recreation and venting.
 
Shane,

Not sure how much this will help you but I am a recovering addict with over 2 years of sobriety. Might not sound like a long time behind my back, but I have learned a lot over these past 6-7 years, and I would be more than happy to help you out with any questions you might be wondering. I've had addiction run through both sides of my parents' families, so I have been on the other end as well. I am sorry to hear about your commemorative bottles and other items that were "used", and hope that things will go well with your family. I abused my family and friend's trust quite a bit during some dark times, and it is just sad that that is the way the mind works in an addict. Nothing else really matters when you're looking for your "fix", so to speak. PM me if you'd like to ask any thing maybe a little more private about your SIL or even questions about what an addict thinks. I would be honored to help a fellow brother out of this amazing community that we're involved in. Hope all gets well brother!

Kevin

Ps- I couldn't agree more with what Rubi said! Well said brother :thumbup:
 
Great giving selfless people here ( respect to Kevin) offering help and experience having lived it, I have had several who I have loved and lived through addiction in my life with varying outcomes.....
 
RubiconSS said:
I find the "solutions" often times to be simply addiction substitution. 12 step for booze, AA/NA for pills and drink. The addict just becomes addicted to the cure.

Don't lose sight of each other (you and your wife) this will be stressful, and trying.
You have "Here" and "Us" as well for recreation and venting.
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That's an interesting point, about being addicted to the "cure". MIL is a whole other set of issues but, to the point, she's been seeing a therapist for going on 15 years I think for that very reason.

prelude92 said:
Shane,

Not sure how much this will help you but I am a recovering addict with over 2 years of sobriety. Might not sound like a long time behind my back, but I have learned a lot over these past 6-7 years, and I would be more than happy to help you out with any questions you might be wondering. I've had addiction run through both sides of my parents' families, so I have been on the other end as well. I am sorry to hear about your commemorative bottles and other items that were "used", and hope that things will go well with your family. I abused my family and friend's trust quite a bit during some dark times, and it is just sad that that is the way the mind works in an addict. Nothing else really matters when you're looking for your "fix", so to speak. PM me if you'd like to ask any thing maybe a little more private about your SIL or even questions about what an addict thinks. I would be honored to help a fellow brother out of this amazing community that we're involved in. Hope all gets well brother!

Kevin

Ps- I couldn't agree more with what Rubi said! Well said brother :thumbup:
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Kevin, thanks so much for the words and support - and much respect for your sobriety and sharing. As we try to figure this out I may just take you up on your offer. I've never been a big believer in support groups, therapists, or the like. I prefer to deal with problems myself, my wife is much the same way. However, her sister (and mom) are wired completely different. For my wife and I, the idea of going "outside" for help is foreign territory, so this is all new to us..

Thanks again guys, I appreciate having you here to confide in.
 
AZ2 All I can say is, both Rubi and 92, have great perspectives from both sides, and their input will surely be an aid.... My experience comes from that of my nature as a mechanic and my heart as an EMS caregiver..... I lived with a mentally ill addict for close to twenty five years, and gave all the love and support I had,and was sure I could "fix/repair" the perceived problem (the mechanic talking). what Rubi says rings true it's not up to you it's up to her.... You can't hang your heart or concience on the outcome, but you can take pride in doing your best to be a supporting responsible role model, and do your best to offer support towards constructive Theropy and behavior, your strongest tool is your ability to listen, and provide constructive support, what ever you do don't enable the situation by looking the other way, it will be a Very Hard Road indeed...mine did not end well, but I grew from the experience, and it was one of the motivators that led me to become an EMT.....I've used what I learned to help others, and have stemmed many the crisis situation mostly by listening carefully and ALWAYS empithising with my patient be them psychotic, high, depressed,delusional, what ever their percieved reality is, that's their real life perception and that is the point of view you have to try to understand before you offer advice.....if they believe you are trying to see things as they do before you offer help, at least at that point if your lucky they may listen. And to all reading this who may be offended I'm sorry on this next part but it's Vital: Don't get fooled into trusting any addict or delusional person, they will lie to you, and you will believe them.....from day one trust will have to be earned and respected, and that goes both ways..... Good Luck, and let me know if I can help..
 
Shane, I'm available through e-mail or (lesser extent) PM. My personal stuff does not go into forum posts but functional alcoholism, depression and addiction are all topics we can discuss off-line.

All my best to you and yours at this trying time.
 
On a lighter note, Rubi or any other audiophiles in here (I know your here so don't try to hide), what do you think of high quality DAC portable players, and how do you listen to recordings generally if they are not vinyl masters, what format do you recommend? And have you seen Niel Young's new venture? I ask because I just realized I've been drinking coolaid and most of my music is 320kbit or worse! I just started listening to lossless and I'm kind of feeling cheated and ashamed, most of my music is ruined! Thanks nameless technology Giant........
 
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