The UK set to ban "zombie" knives

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" repeat offender " ? Does that mean he can kill one person before he's asked to give the police his knife ? What we call here a "freebee" .
 
SCWillson said:
That barbarian who decapitated a British soldier in broad daylight a while back used a meat cleaver IIRC. Was it painted green? Is the green paint what makes them so lethal?
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It's not only the green paint, but also the skulls. Painting a skull on a knife increases its sharpness by 10% for each skull, and painting it green makes it 150% more lethal. Two coats of green paint make it 300% as lethal. I don't know about three coats, I don't think anyone is crazy enough to attempt that.
 
Let's not forget the "serrations, angles and number of edges" contributing to their obvious lethality! :D
 
Kwon Kwang said:
Let's not forget the "serrations, angles and number of edges" contributing to their obvious lethality! :D
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Don't forget the holes too. Holes on the blade are very important, as they introduce air bubbles into the zombie's bloodstream when you cut them.
 
Czechmate said:
Once they ban all the knives criminals will have no way to stab anyone right?...

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All the way to the right is an unsharpened pencil.
 
SCWillson said:
Wouldn't it just make more sense to ban zombies? After all, that's how the UK got rid of criminal gangs - they made 'em illegal. Bam! No more crime! No zombies; no need for zombie knives. Simple.


At the rate they are going, soon the most dangerous item Brits will be allowed to own/carry will be Q-Tips. Try fending off a zombie with that...
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Are you kidding? You know how many eardrums are damaged by qtips every year? No Brit should be allowed to posses qtips without a permit. [emoji12]
 
If thickness was a sickness the politicians would all be dead.
 
So the zombie knife spokesman's name is "Alf" Hitchcock? Classic. You don't even have to ask why the head of the Ministry of Defense (military) policy arm was chosen to make the statement. But, to be fair, there is precedent for this type of ban in the UK. I seem to recall that when they refursed to allow film director John Waters to show his movie "Pink Flamingos" in the UK, he was told by the censors the they were sorry but they really weren't equipped to deal with "intentional bad taste." He understood. :D
 
Anyone remember a few years back when the UK was talking about banning chef knives? They found a chef who said he never needed anything over a few inches long and started trying to rouse the safety crowd against dangerous kitchen knives. Guess they needed more fear for an election year.
 
I understand they'll be outlawing gravity soon so you can't drop a heavy object out your window onto someone's head.
Stupidity is boundless and seems to grow exponentially when one becomes a member of government.
 
MaximIsayev said:
It's not only the green paint, but also the skulls. Painting a skull on a knife increases its sharpness by 10% for each skull, and painting it green makes it 150% more lethal. Two coats of green paint make it 300% as lethal. I don't know about three coats, I don't think anyone is crazy enough to attempt that.
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Sadly, a friend of mine did foolishly attempt to apply a third coat of green paint to a large serrated blade - and yes, the scales also had numerous depictions of skulls as part of its motif....well, about half thru applying this third coat, the knife actually became sentient....leapt off of the finishing bench & brutally murdered my buddy. This crazed knife is still outstanding, whereabouts unknown, but it's a suspect in several other similar murders in surrounding areas. God help us all if this knife is ever able to complete its own third coat of green paint.....God help us all.
 
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