Tradewater

In mathmatical terms: No one is greater than or equal to Tradewater.
 
One time he found himself without shelter in an urban environment. He broke into a weight watchers building, found the largest person there, cut them open, and slept inside them to stay warm.
 
DerekH said:
One time he found himself without shelter in an urban environment. He broke into a weight watchers building, found the largest person there, cut them open, and slept inside them to stay warm.
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I heard about that! He was even nice enough to find a hart problem while he was in there, performed a double bypass surgery procedure, closed em back up and prescribe some antibiotics! But the crazy thing is, when he climbed inside to get warm, he actually warmed the person instead.... Go figure!
 
The police often question Tradewater just because they find him interesting.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him. His hands feel like rich brown suede.
If Tradewater were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him.
Panhandlers give him money.
When he drives a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
 
Jonny1280 said:
The police often question Tradewater just because they find him interesting.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him. His hands feel like rich brown suede.
If Tradewater were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him.
Panhandlers give him money.
When he drives a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
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And the "NEW CAR" smell instantly turns into sent of TradeWater. You can buy the TradeWater air fresheners at Auto Zone and other participating stores!
 
Mosquitoes refuse to bite him, purely out of respect!
 
He's just about always the toughest sumbitch in the room. There was this time he broke a wild boar at a Cracker Barrel.

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One time in a Japanese Hibachi he drank a lionfish under the table. Once the fish died from alcohol poisoning, it was promptly turned into one of the most beautiful pieces of sushi ever created, which Tradewater quickly force fed to the cook until he made, from memory, fried catfish, hushpuppies, and coleslaw with hot sauce. He then ate his meal, paid a generous tip, and left.
 
tradewater > the guy at Cheatham Lock > the Road God.

That's legit math right there.
 
DerekH said:
I am going to talk to my lawyer later today about getting a cologne patented and named Tradewater. It will smell like a mixture of bengay, old wet hay bales, and mossberg.
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needs a splash of good old #9.
 
I once saw him dive face first into a freezing river wearing only a hairnet and emerge with a live salmon between his teeth and a cold beer in each hand.
 
Psyop said:
Im getting out my boots sh*t is deep in here

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tradewater once forded a river of sh*t and emerged on the other side sparkling like Mr. Clean. And his boots were shined!
 
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