Weirdest Knife Story

T-BAG

T-BAG

Joined
Dec 1, 2006
Messages
577
I am new to this site and even tho Iv'e been a collector for over 25 years Iv'e never really gotten IN to the quality of steels, handles and sheaths or the hard work it takes to make a custom hand made knife....but I'm learning.

This site is full of people WAYYYY smarter than me anout knives, steels etc and I am learning a lot about different aspects of knife making. I thought it might be fun to share on this thread the weirdest thing that's happend to you regarding the hobby of knife collecting and knife making. Here's my donation...lol....I swear this a a true story.

Around 1980 I went to the Los Angeles County fair and was walking around with the family when I noticed a kiosk where a guy was demonstrating (New...at that time anyway) Spyderco kitchen knives. The guy and his wife slided and diced vegatables and meat (I bought 2 by the way) and were in the process of showing how thinly you could slice tomatoes...and there were about 50 people gathered around watching him.

All of a sudden this guy walks up to the kiosk and says to his wife and says."Hey look honey, this is one of those new knives that slice tomatoes but won't cut your hand when doing it" as he picks up a 6 inch red handled Spyderco and slices it across his palm. The guy doing the demonstration went white a sheet and his wife says " WTF are you doing"? as the guy sliced his hand right down to the bone. About 2 seconds later a stream of blood shot out of the guys hand like Old Faithful and he collapsed in shock and about 3 women in the crowd fainted, children were crying and men were cussing, women sceaming. Me and the Kiosk guy grabbed the guys arm and I tied a hankerchief around his arm to stop him from bleeding out as the Kiosk guy held his arm up in the air.

Luckily there were firemen on site and they called an ambulance as they took over from me and the kiosk guy. His wife was vomitting in the corner as families took their children away from the sceneand she was still saying ..WTF....Was he nuts...WTF......All in All a bad day for the fair...And I didn't get any funnel cake either.....lol

OK. Your Turn :)
 
I'm sorry, but I don't have anything that will compare to that story.

"Hey look honey, this is one of those new knives that slice tomatoes but won't cut your hand when doing it". Yes, a magical knife that knows to cut tomatoes but not skin. He probably also thinks headaches are caused by tiny blacksmiths pounding an anvil inside his brain.
 
As unfortunate for the guy who sliced his own hand such a thing is, I must say that this is not only the weirdest knife story i've ever heard, but also perhaps the funniest (in a morose way, but funny nonetheless). T-bag, you do a great job at telling the story, especially the details of the reactions of the witnesses as they gasped in horror. "Men were cussing, woman fainted, children started crying..."; classic. :p
I'd have to say this is perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever heard someone do with a knife; it's not like he purposely ran the knife across himself to do himself harm, but rather what gets me is that he ran the razor sharp kitchen knife across his hand THINKING HE WOULD NOT BE CUT. :confused:
Well, as for my own weirdest knife story, I was chopping up some fallen tree limbs in my backyard (back home in NJ) with my machete when I decided to use the lanyard around my wrist. On a particularly hard overhead chop, the machete slipped out of my sweaty hand. Since it was still attached to my wrist via the lanyard, the machete continued on a downward path until it slammed edge-first into my right shin bone. I yelled out and quickly rolled up my jeans to access the damage. The machete's edge was pretty dull at the end, and it did not cut the jeans, but I did have an inch long gash along the front of my lower chin. :eek:
Hurt something fierce too.
-Mike
 
Great story, sad to say but I really CAN believe that there are people that stupid on this planet, I deal with them everyday... :)


Well told, and by far the funniest I've read lol
 
Reminds me of the customer who complained that the knife wasn't sharp enough after I sharpened it in my shop infont of him. This so called knife expert complained that the edge wasn't up to his standards, and to prove it he ran his thumb down the edge. There was this deluge of blood pouring from his severed finger right to the bone. :eek: I used electrical tape to fix him up and his buddy had to drive him to the hospital.:eek:
 
That Spyderco story had my sides hurting. No apologies like "I mean it's bad that he got cut but....". Nope. Just plain hilarious.

The knife expert slicing his thumb was a good one too :)

In fact, soon as I click "Post", I'm going back up for a second read.
 
The best part about that story is that after the paramedics took over, you went and bought two of those knives. "Wow, what a crazy bastard . . . look at all this blood . . . . I'll buy two!"
 
brewthunda said:
The best part about that story is that after the paramedics took over, you went and bought two of those knives. "Wow, what a crazy bastard . . . look at all this blood . . . . I'll buy two!"
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That really was the best part. A true knife nut. After all the mayhem and gore, an accurate assessment of quality steel was the final outcome. :) :D
 
Bufford said:
Reminds me of the customer who complained that the knife wasn't sharp enough after I sharpened it in my shop infont of him. This so called knife expert complained that the edge wasn't up to his standards, and to prove it he ran his thumb down the edge. There was this deluge of blood pouring from his severed finger right to the bone. :eek: I used electrical tape to fix him up and his buddy had to drive him to the hospital.:eek:
Click to expand...

I always got a kick out of people like that, "Young man, I don't think this knife is any sharper then when I brought it into you." Sir let me get you a paper towel and a couple Band-Aids your bleeding allover my counter.
Customer pays for sharpening, clerk says HAVE A NICE DAY!:D .

Here's one for ya. We had cabinets with big magnet strips in them to display some of the knives. New guy grabs a big United Cutlery of some type I don't recall any more but goes to hang it on the magnet. This knife looked like a fried egg leaving a pan of butter onto a plate, it just slid right off fell from about 4 feet or more and went tip done into his foot and the topper is he was wearing sandals.:rolleyes:

Helle
 
T-bag that is a great one and of course it reminds me of another.
I was doing a show and a guy asks to see a Cold Steel Desperado, if you don't know what this knife looks like, it's nasty. I say sure and hand him the knife in the sheath and ask him to be careful so he grabs the sheath in on hand the egg shaped handle in the other and pulled. The look on his face was one of great concern and he ask for some paper towel his buddy was already giving him crap because he laid himself open and I'm talking fillet O' hand. Any way he bought the knife before he left to go to the hospital.


Helle
 
Tom Maringer, a great sword maker designed a knife he called the Vorpal and an underarm, handle down sheath of kydex that broke out of the front of the sheath edge forward ready to use. At a blade show, in Knoxville, I think, a customer picks one up from the table and holding the sheath in the middle rips the knife forward almost removeing his fingers. LOTS of blood and excitement. bandaids would not handle it. A. G.
 
smegs said:
After all the mayhem and gore, an accurate assessment of quality steel was the final outcome. :) :D
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sounds like one my average knifeshopping days :D

*My strange story 1:

I had just bought a buck folder for a pal, and was cleaning it in my room before giftwrapping. My ex girlfriend, and housemate, walks in (we still have a very close relationship). She asks about the knife and wants to see it.
I give her the knife, she's handled some of my collection before safely, and begin to tell her about my pal.
I can see her inspecting the knife from the corner of my eye, as I put a cd in the cd player. She runs the knife across her wrist, as to shave some hairs. I take the knife back and try to package it, when she calls out my name and shoves her wrist under my nose. Now, I can clearly see blood flowing from the fresh "across the road" cut. :eek:

Ofcourse, I immediately tend the wound and tell her never to pull this bull**** again. To assure you, it (and some more conversations) helped, she is now in a much healthier mental condition. :rolleyes:

*Strange story 2:
I had just bought a new Benchmade Presidio auto, when another GF called me for a night out. I went to her place and basically found her all messed up. She began talking about everything psychopathological including homocide and suicide (what prevented me from showing the knife to her). You must amgine the strongest girl you know, turning into a psycho in front of your eyes unexpectedly. It was scary.
She talked me into staying overnight, though I doubted her ability to reason. I actually feared that she might attack my during my sleep. I slept on the couch in the living room, and put up some barricades between myself and the door, so that she could not get to me whithout some effort and making noise. I sent a textmessage to 3 of my closest friends: "if I do not call you tomorrow by 09:00, call the police and (...)"
Finally, I placed my new BM out of sight but within less than an arm's reach. In case of emergency, I could quickly grab it (keepin' it closed) and knock her unconscious in a single blow. In the end, it wasn't secessary. She didn't attack me, but is now in psychiatry... :(

So, today's lesson: you can trust knives more than girlfriends! (but what else is new?) ;)
 
A. G. Russell said:
Tom Maringer, a great sword maker designed a knife he called the Vorpal and an underarm, handle down sheath of kydex that broke out of the front of the sheath edge forward ready to use. At a blade show, in Knoxville, I think, a customer picks one up from the table and holding the sheath in the middle rips the knife forward almost removeing his fingers. LOTS of blood and excitement. bandaids would not handle it. A. G.
Click to expand...

Those break out of the front sheaths will give a person a real quick education.;) I remember when we purchased Mad Dog frequent flyer's my boss at the time was showing me how quick it came out of the sheath, unfortunately for him he was holding it wrong as he ripped it forward. That was the first time I saw plastic cut someone, but a sword that's a true t-shirt and Duct tape move.:eek:

Helle
 
Hey MuayKiDO, where do you find these girlfriends? Or do they get that way from dating you?
 
Don M said:
Hey MuayKiDO, where do you find these girlfriends? Or do they get that way from dating you?
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Isn't there a nice way of asking that? but, um...

Ditto, I mean, I know all about having a psyco/suicidal chick friend. but I've only had one. and she did a lot of drugs and was molested as a small child.

I have a nearly identical strange knife story to yours.

edit
oops, you post faster than I do
 
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