Weirdest Knife Story

This story may not be as good but it does have something in common with the original story.

One day at work this guy who worked with me asked me to sharpen his Case yellow CV trapper and I oblige him and I sharpen this thing razor sharp(I love CV for that reason) and so he shaves his arm with it as I did to see that it was in fact sharp. And so a little later he comes by and says "lets see if it will cut my skin" thinking to myself haha funny Hayden what a joker, and then he cuts himself not a big cut but enough to convince himself of my skills with the Lansky Crock Sticks.
 
Well, here is my story and yes it's about me:D

Back in my younger days, me and my mates would often have a cook up, you know wine, steaks, salad and company of the beautiful sex..

So, this one time, after I had consumed most of a bottle of excellent red wine, it's time to go to work, it's my turn to make the salad(see where this is going..?)

I whip out my prized Japanese kitchen knife, which is so sharp that it hurts just looking at the damm thing....i attack the lettuce, tomatoes and other various innocent veggies with gusto..they all fall before the blade:D
I am cutting the last of the lettuce and I may be a wee bit tipsy, but everything is going just fine....untill my friend suddenly shouts out in horror " Bran! what the f*** are you doing!!??"...lo and behold blood is gushing out of my left index finger, where a nice piece is missing!..yup I cut right through my finger and didn't even feel it!
But of cause, being a man I refused to go to the hospital...(idiot!)..had to impress the girls too:D,,so I just put a few band aids on and called it a day.

As far as i can recall the dinner was a great success, except....no one would eat the salad:confused:

Removing the band aid turned out to be the most painful experience I have ever experienced..had to go to the hospital the next to have it treated and to this day my finger still looks a bit weird.
 
I have just one more story to tell you..hope that's ok?

Not about a knife, but a yari (Japanese spear)...

And yes before you ask, I am a Japanese sword polisher..took me 91/2 years to learn and yes that is a long time!:D

Anyway, I was doing the finishing polish on this yari, getting the grain pattern out , this you do by rubbing some very and very small stones all over the blade.
The back of the blade is used as support for you index finger, but since this was double edged, I had put some tape on and used a guide as well.

After a good time, the yari looked good and i removed the tape to check..hmm the tip could use a bit more, but instead of putting tape on again, I just used the guide...and of cause it slipped:eek:

I scream, my teacher comes rushing in...blood all over the work place..but thank god my finger is still attached, but the blood is gushing out..so we put on a tourniquet, and drive to the hospital, which takes a bit of time..(traffic and all)..and all the time my finger is turning more and more blue..

Arriving at the hospital, all the doctors and nurses are all "ohh, ahh, what a nice clean cut" (this being Japan, I guess they don't see too many of these things)..anyway they are admiring the cut and I am like " stop starring and get sewing, I'm in pain!"
The cut is finally sewn up took 7 stitches and I have a nice scar and a good nick in the bone to show for all my work...(and before you ask, no damage was done to the blade:D)
 
My story can't compare with the lot of you guys, but I'll add it simply cause.

There's a small cutlery place located around my workplace, so I stop in now and again to talk with some of the workers who have at least some sense about knives. I heard this story from one of the workers there.

A few years back, one customer was in the market for a new chef's knife and came in to check out a few different brands. Apparently, he had dealt with a few "fancy" models and knew a thing or two about them. I'm pretty sure we've heard this all before. It's almost always a precursor or foreshadowing of something bad happening.

The guy goes through a list of different models, starting from the classic German brands, like Henckels and Wusthof, but they just weren't doing it for him, so he decided to check with the workers on what they would use. One of the guys suggested looking at the Globals and getting a feel for them, since they were really getting popular, especially after Anthony Bourdain released No Reservations.

The guy gets to feeling one out and decides that he needs to test it out a bit, so the workers get to bringing over this "cutting board" surface to test out chopping and whatnot. As the guy's getting a feel for it, he said he wanted to test out how sharp it was, so the worker helping him went to get some paper for some tests. As the worker's going to get some paper, the customer starts to go crazy on the knife and starts making like he's trying to chop through a huge bone, and is simply just abusing the heck out of the knife.

The worker is just completely dumbfounded at the moment, yelling at the guy and the customer simply reassures him that "These things can handle this type of work no problem," and starts to do like that guy on QVC did with the sword. You know the video. Low and behold, the thing breaks apart, with the guy still holding the handle. After a moment of silence, there's nothing but yelling coming from all the workers and the guy got banned from the store. I'm just surprised the guy didn't get hurt from whacking the crap out of that knife.
 
Not that weird but definitely amusing: recently I was visiting a customer for a business meeting. Picture it: all serious people, in suit and tie. At the end of the formal meeting (lunch was going to be served) a woman who participated in the meeting was struggling to open a tight plastic packaging. I had my victorinox soldier in my pocket and hesitated for a second (perception is important in this kind of meetings!) but still I handed her the knife. She took it with a wide smile, saying: "A swiss army knife! Now that's a real man!"
 
Not that weird but definitely amusing: recently I was visiting a customer for a business meeting. Picture it: all serious people, in suit and tie. At the end of the formal meeting (lunch was going to be served) a woman who participated in the meeting was struggling to open a tight plastic packaging. I had my victorinox soldier in my pocket and hesitated for a second (perception is important in this kind of meetings!) but still I handed her the knife. She took it with a wide smile, saying: "a swiss army knife! There are still real men!"
 
T-BAG; Wow.. What a story.. I do feal bad for the guy, but you can not help but laugh at his stupidity...
 
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