Weirdest Knife Story

New guy grabs a big United Cutlery of some type I don't recall any more but goes to hang it on the magnet. This knife looked like a fried egg leaving a pan of butter onto a plate, it just slid right off...
The funny thing is, United Cutlery actually does have some knives that look like a fried egg leaving a pan of butter. :D
 
I have to say that it is not often that I call my wife into the room to read a post but we both had a good laugh at this one.I have no story to compete with these,but thanks for the laugh....you guys are crazy...
 
Mine is a little depressing (for me).

Some friends of mine and I were eating dinner in a place no one could see us and, as is often the case at TCU, they started comparing pocket knives. Well, one guy had a decent but wholly unsharpened knife, a gerber air ranger and was showing how dull it was by the classic knife n00b running it over the hand trick.

Nothing happened.

One of the guys was like "Brett, show how sharp your new knife is." We happened to have a small cardboard box that had been delivered to us that evening, so I pulled my brand new Dodo which was ridonkulously sharp and removed pieces of the box with ease.

Another friend said "that's not sharp, let me see that." I don't know why I let him see the knife, I guess I just didn't think he'd do anything this retarded.

And he ran it across his hand, just the ultrasharp S30V tip.

And....

....nothing happened. What? I mean, I'm glad he didn't get cut, but how the hell didn't a dodo tip tear right through him? I was really disappointed in the knife...but it was some sort of weird fluke...it still cuts like crazy.

So now there's a a few guys that probably think Spydercos ship a little dull...
 
I have a couple of those stupid sheath injury stories :D
The first one is my own. I was tying a lanyard on my Brian Goode fixed blade and when I finished tying it I went to pull the knife out of the sheath to see how it looked. It was 2am over a school vacation, and I was pretty tired, and I gripped the sheath with my left hand at the opening and pulled out. Ouch! My finger was too close to the lip and as I drew I got a big slice into my thumb. It bled forever!

The other one is about my friend, who owned a cheapo Case fixed blade before I talked him into getting a nice one (also a Brian Goode!). He works at a Christmas tree farm and he was cutting rope in front of some customers and as he resheathed the Case hard into its cheap leather sheath, the tip went right out the side and into his hand. It was pretty embarrassing for him.

I also have the story of my tossing a Buck Squire (think smaller 112) and catching it after it did a 360. Very stupid, but this was about four years ago when I was just getting into knives. I missed, it went tip-first into my foot and left me with a pus-squirting, infected wound at the top of my foot for a month (until I finally decided I should get some antibiotics and make up a story about dropping scissors for the doctor :D)
 
Isn't there a nice way of asking that? but, um...

All in good fun. I poke fun at my wife because a couple of guys she dated in high school turned out to be gay. I tell her she was what pushed them over the edge.
 
This is a story against myself. Way back in the seventies, when I was a draftsman in an engineering drawing office, we used scalpels to scratch ink off tracing paper drawings. basically as a steel eraser. Well, one day I was moving some drawings on my desk and did not notice a scalpel amongst them. It fell out, went blade first into my shoe (double thickness kangaroo hide riding boots). I said Oh dear or words to that effect. I looked down and saw the scalpel wobbling as I moved my foot. The draftsman next to me went white and sat down. I reached down and pulled the scalpel out. I had to, to get my shoe off. Off came the shoe and socks. NO BLOOD. It had gone between my big toe and the next. I was never able to repair the hole in the shoes though.
 
I was never able to repair the hole in the shoes though.

Put a piece of tape under the slit. Force superglue into it. Tape over the top. Let it cure, remove all the tape, leather sealed.
 
The reason the repairs never held was that I rode motorbikes every day, in all weather. After a while the hole just opened up again. Those boots and my motorcycle days are gone now. I tried something similar with the glues that were available then.

Has anyone else got a weird tale to tell?
 
well once an acqauntance (sp?) decided he would try juggling a 4 inch blade sheath knife that i had just honed to near razor sharpness...he tossed it up and down several times, and caught it nearly as many times by the blade...he never did get cut. he says that he spent his entire childhood playing with weapons etc...i don't know but i have a really firm rule now (compared to the less firm rule before) about handing out knives.
 
Where's David Brown when you need him?
(Strange story about resheathing a large knife into a sword style sheath on his back.)
Actually, I do have ONE.....
And I lived!
I dropped a sharp folder into my tennis shoe at work, and it broke through the canvas and I felt the point and thought "Oh, SH()T, I'm going to have to go to the hospital now! Not even a scratch. A true miracle!
 
Thanks everyone for the kind words......I'll be buying some knives from some of you in the future.....Lotta nice stuff here....:)
 
I thought I had a story to tell until I read these.

Now I don't think so.
 
My stories are much less funny and horrible. . .

I once had my sharp, partially double-edged machete leaning up against something while I was cleaning my room. I managed to step down against the blade with my bare foot, slicing open one of my toes.
. . . Tetanus shot.

Another time, when I was young, I was using a 3 tined hay pitchfork to shovel old moldy straw and horse manure in the spring. I finished a load, and stabbed the pitchfork into the ground. . .

I looked down and realized I had stabbed the middle tine through my foot. It did not hurt. I pulled it out, and was afraid to tell my parents that I did something that stupid. Luckily it never hurt, missed all bones and tendons, and did not become infected (tine was probably wiped clean by the leather of my shoe as it passed through.) I had to get another tetanus shot, though. That hurt much more than the pitchfork.
 
My first boss had his X-Acto knife roll off his drawing board and stick in his expesive Italian loafer.
We just looked at it standing there for a moment...when he took it out and the shoe off...no cut.
Went right between his big toe and the next one.
I would have never believed it if I didn't see it.

I was showing off my (original) AGRussell Sting. The gal at the store showed me how it stayed in the leather sheath while inverted.
So I show this to my buds (after a few buds :rolleyes: ) and give it a shake or two.
The knife comes out of the sheath and hangs there for a micro-second. Just long enough for my hand to come down on the point.
Little cut in the heel of my hand.
It didn't look like much, until it started squirting blood all over everyone and every thing.
Must've hit just right...only one stitch to close it up.
My wife still hates that knife :D
 
It's alweays good to give them something to hate to distract them from hating you.
 
Another Spyderco incident.... In High School drama class I was using an Endura to cut some cardboard for some props and scenery stuff. This scrawny class clown guy saw the knife I was using, exclaimed he had never seen a "hi-dollar" knife like that one. He asked if he could see it, and I dont know why, but I handed it to him. He said "Is this thing sharp?" while randomly running the screaming sharp edge across this random girl's hand, cutting her badly. She screamed and cried, bleeding all over and he guffawed like a psycho. I got pissed, took the knife from him and pushed his ass off the stage, and tended to the crying girl's cut.

(A few weeks later I was missing my spyderco. I didnt have it for a week or so and I was seriously upset. One day in Drama, I noticed a black clip sticking out of the scrawny class clown's pants pocket and sure enough it was my knife. He had stolen it from me somehow. Luckily it wasnt damaged.)


Also, what is it with people who dont know how to hang on to a damn automatic? I let this one guy see a Frank Beltrame stiletto one day. He held onto the thing, pushed the button and the blade popped out hard, exiting his hand and falling right into the top of his bare foot.

I've had a few girls get curious of some of my autos and they get all nervous...push the button and when the blade pops out they freak out and jump.... like AHH! OMG! throwing the damn knife in a random direction!

You have to be super careful of who you let TOUCH a knife. Some people are just retarded.
 
United Cutlery just went out of business.

You have to be super careful of who you let TOUCH a knife. Some people are just retarded.

There's a simple rule about that.
If they have a knife, they don't need yours.
If they don't have a knife, they don't know how to use yours properly.

And if you tell them or show them how, they'll still do it wrong.
They are Non Knife People. It's in their genes, like a predisposition towards Darwin Award status.
 
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