What to do if your spouse hates knives?

[Ankerson]

My thinking is you have to get rid of the knives or the wife...There are more women out there and those new knives you have do hold their value. The woman not so much.

So true. :thumbup:

Women are an endless pit that you pour money into with zero return.

At least with the knives you can get most of your money back if you needed to.

That is unless they are rich and supporting you, other than that well....

If not then once they start dictating what you need or don't need then it's time to kick them out because it will never end.

 

[Battle Creek Knives]

Is this a fairly new hobby for ya?? if so she's probably thinking you're nuts right about now and paying more attention to your 'new' hobby then to her..

If you've been doing this since you've been married then she needs to get off her high horse and come to the party......

My wife's OK with it although she gets a little tickled when I start fondling my knives..And I always reassure her that 'Everything' I buy is like money in the bank, some items I can make money on others I break even and in the worse case scenario I lose a little but have fun in the process..

With that said, we were on vacation a couple weeks back, went to a big outlet store "Coach" there were deals there she couldn't pass up, she spent $600 on a CC before we left.. She's selling 3 of the purses to pay for the 2 shes keeping plus a little profit, and the 2 she keeps can later be sold for profit.. (money in the bank)..

Why don't you buy your wife a "coach" purse, we happen to have a couple for sale That should do the trick and get her off your back and allow her to understand that your knives are "money in the bank" for an unsuspected rainy day..

 

[singularity35]

I can't give any advice about that since I have zero experience with my wife disliking my hobbies. Oh, she does throw a tantrum sometimes when she feels neglected but I tell her she could have a worse husband. One who womanizes.

 

[NeoClassic]

The bills are getting paid, but her concern the knives are useless. "Why do you need another knife when you have two in the kitchen drawer" Some of you also picked the right question, is it the knife or not paying more attention to her. Another s.... storm about 10 minutes revealed that knives were useless and that I should be buying something more useful for both of us. I think she is mad/afraid my knives are more important to me than her, especially when I spend considerable amounts of times browsing bladeforums and the internet for them.

I agree with other posters that this issue is a symptom of a larger problem brewing in the relationship. But it need not cause the demise of your marriage.

Here are some practical things you can do:

1- Forget the knives for a second and take a long hard look at your relationship overall. Be brutally honest with yourself about how compatible you are on a fundamental level and where things need improvement. Seek help in fixing the relationship or things will continue to deteriorate. Successful relationships take hard and constant work -- and they are TOTALLY worth it, in my opinion. She needs to respect your needs/desires/wants just as much as you respect hers.


2- Talk to your wife. Women like to discuss things (often ad nauseam ). This will help you work through the problems. I resisted this at first in my own relationship -- as many men do -- but once I started to open up and discuss things, I saw an immediate improvement in our relationship, including how she regards my knife hobby, which she was (and still probably is) very unhappy about.


3- Use separate bank accounts and manage your money independently of each other. This way you each have the freedom to spend any money you earn that is left over after the household expenses and life savings (very important) are taken care of.


4- Spend less time on your knife hobby and more with your wife. It will make both of you happier in the long run.


5- Live within your means. Don't buy knives (or anything other than a car, house or other large item) on credit. After a year of controlling your spending, you will see your savings start to mount and will be able to buy everything (short of those major purchases) with cash. This is very liberating and removes a lot of stress from the relationship.

 

[zyhano]

Just tell your wife to mind her own damn business when it comes to your knives, and let her know that you could be collecting women, rather than knives..

If you get a sh storm iver knives, then this is a reason for her to make catrina look like a little schoolgirl

Though funny in ways the part about the female being neglected or loved less than the knife is one of the exact reasons I now call her my ex. She would get so mad you would have thought I slept with her sister

I could be on the computer but if I was on BF then the S... storm would start. Everthing seemed to revolve around here not getting enough attention and she actually got the the point of hate for my hobby. Does she use the www.? myspace? facebook?

That otoh is a good reason to dive into your hobby even further and become an expert sharpener lol.
Sleeping with the sister... Lol, a good idea when doing it, a very bad one when you're done

Just tell her to get over it, if not kick her to the curb. :thumbup:

With the junk they buy all the time I never put up with that crap for a second.

It's a form of control really, it won't stop there either if you don't tell her what's what now.

+1
Make sure she gets what you stand for and wont put up with from day 1.
If she cant handle it, shes not the right one and you got to find that out early.
If you're in it too far, find out what the underlying problem is and fix that. The knives are just a way for her to express her discontent with something else.
If that doesn't work, go for the sister, you'll have a good time at least

 

[NeoClassic]

Women are an endless pit that you pour money into with zero return.

This is not an accurate generalization.

It might apply to some or all of the women you've been in a relationship with, but it certainly does not apply to all women.

I genuinely hope that you can some day meet women who are different than those that have created this view of yours.

 

[richw]

....

I went all logical on her, and she hasn't said a thing since.

....

You may be the first man who ever was successful using logic with a woman. I say may because you won't know for another 40+ years, cause women never ever let something drop fully, so you won't know until one of you die, and even then you won't be sure....

to the op...

unless you are not telling us something, like you cut yourself a lot, or you guys agreed to not spend money on stuff for a while or something (even though the bills are paid)...its obviously a deeper issue...unlike one other persons advice is to go to a third party, my advice is the exact opposite, have a real calm talk with her...

how far we have come in a society, and i can't imagine my father having to justify something like that to my mother (having said that he was super responsible).

 

[rayban]

Homer Simson says it best:

" Honey I UNDERSTAND (your feelings)....just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand...."

 

[dobervol]

I can see it now--Jim Ankerson's new YouTube "testing" franchise: Hard use wife testing. He don't brook no crap, see? Send your wife to Jim and he'll see if she measures up!

So true. :thumbup:

Women are an endless pit that you pour money into with zero return.

At least with the knives you can get most of your money back if you needed to.

That is unless they are rich and supporting you, other than that well....

If not then once they start dictating what you need or don't need then it's time to kick them out because it will never end.

 

[Charlie Mike]

www.wifetests.com (this is an address I made up... not a porn link)

,,,,,FTWCM

 

[DallasSTB]

I agree with other posters that this issue is a symptom of a larger problem brewing in the relationship. But it need not cause the demise of your marriage.

Here are some practical things you can do:

1- Forget the knives for a second and take a long hard look at your relationship overall. Be brutally honest with yourself about how compatible you are on a fundamental level and where things need improvement. Seek help in fixing the relationship or things will continue to deteriorate. Successful relationships take hard and constant work -- and they are TOTALLY worth it, in my opinion. She needs to respect your needs/desires/wants just as much as you respect hers.


2- Talk to your wife. Women like to discuss things (often ad nauseam ). This will help you work through the problems. I resisted this at first in my own relationship -- as many men do -- but once I started to open up and discuss things, I saw an immediate improvement in our relationship, including how she regards my knife hobby, which she was (and still probably is) very unhappy about.


3- Use separate bank accounts and manage your money independently of each other. This way you each have the freedom to spend any money you earn that is left over after the household expenses and life savings (very important) are taken care of.


4- Spend less time on your knife hobby and more with your wife. It will make both of you happier in the long run.


5- Live within your means. Don't buy knives (or anything other than a car, house or other large item) on credit. After a year of controlling your spending, you will see your savings start to mount and will be able to buy everything (short of those major purchases) with cash. This is very liberating and removes a lot of stress from the relationship.

Other than #3 (single income family here), this is perfect. Your time is your currency, spend it as wisely as you do you paycheck and don't go into debt over your hobbies.

Add one more - there are a lot of other hobbies that are more destructive and time consuming than collecting knives. This is a pretty tame vice, IMO.

 

[2Edgy4u]

Well I can talk about my "ex wife" I was a maker when I met her back in the mid 80s and after a few years it was going south. She liked to get on my nerves just for kicks. One day she bought one of those ginsu thangs, and said"this is much better than you could ever do" At the time I had a Bowie in my hand, as I was just commin out of my attached shop, so I took this gunsu thang, but it on a cutting board *edge up* and slamed my Bowie down the middle of it. Cut it right in half, except for a small danglein, just hanging on part. Then I asked her "Who's better?" She finally shut up, and nothin happened to the Bowie or its edge. Well thats the only Wife/knive story I remember from back then. enjoy. edgy:thumbup:

 

[stabman]

Bring her over to the Dark Side (we have cookies, doncha know).
My wife carries a Lava or Benchmade 707, and wouldn't mind one or two more.
She's not as insane in the brain for sharp things as I am, but she doesn't bug me, and she gets it.
Hell, for our 2nd year anniversary (last Saturday), she got me an ESEE Junglas!:thumbup:

 

[Nebulae]

I cant believe I am doing this but here goes...
dont try to get back at her about shoes/clothes, that is a really good way to escelate things, because chances are since she is getting so upset in the first place, and that is hurting you she would take it far worse.
second try discussing it when you buy the knife instead of when it comes in the mail.

 

[snowalker]

I divorced mine, she hated knives, guns, hunting, anything I enjoyed. Best move I ever made, I have a woman now who begs to go to every gunshow in a 50 mile radius and she collects knives too! Dump her man, they ain't worth it.

 

[Austinaftermath]

Have someone tie her up and place her on railroad tracks. Then, come to her rescue and cut the ropes off with the knife she complained about. That should change her mind.

 

[hiwa]

Marriage is a two-way operation. It's her vow to respect you and the stuff you do and vice versa. If she doesn't,she needs to be clarified on that point politely.
My wife thinks I'm kind of a knife nutcase with the money I spend...but she respects me and what my hobbies/interests are. 16 years and counting :thumbup:

 

[Davor]

Can i ask for some of her background? social status maybe but upbringing? what region etc. and if you feel ok about it a little more about her than that, is she a foreigner, etc. and are the 2 of you from the same general upbringing or not.

She is a foreigner who believes knife collecting is stupid and only belong in the kitchen, dull. Its a cultural issue. I go into phases where I will get interested in different hobbies. My first interest in knives began as a young teen and it came back in my late 30s. No financial issues either. Oh btw, snakes as pets too are forbidden along with porn. Mother in law was nicer last month when she visited and just looked at me very puzzled and ask why I like knives. I looked at her as puzzled and said why not. I'm from Texas, where we collect guns and knives. :grumpy: Our social status is the same, both college graduates, but good point on the foreigner part, its a real big culture issue.

 

[Jay S.]

Just tell your wife to mind her own damn business when it comes to your knives, and let her know that you could be collecting women, rather than knives..

+ a bazillion. When my girlfriend (now wife) and I moved in together 16 years ago she told me that she did not want any guns in the house. I quickly reminded her that the guns were there before her and would be there after she left. She realized where we both stood and 16 years later we are both still happily married. Or at least I am - maybe shes faking it?

 

[Ankerson]

She is a foreigner who believes knife collecting is stupid and only belong in the kitchen, dull. Its a cultural issue. I go into phases where I will get interested in different hobbies. My first interest in knives began as a young teen and it came back in my late 30s. No financial issues either. Oh btw, snakes as pets too are forbidden along with porn. Mother in law was nicer last month when she visited and just looked at me very puzzled and ask why I like knives. I looked at her as puzzled and said why not. I'm from Texas, where we collect guns and knives. :grumpy: Our social status is the same, both college graduates, but good point on the foreigner part, its a real big culture issue.

I know what I would do, but that's me.

I already kicked 2 wives out the door......