"Carl's Lounge" (Off-Topic Discussion, Traditional Knife "Tales & Vignettes")

meako said:
Dunno why...wasnt it started by 'Ennery vee Aytphe?....Royal Champion of adultering.
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That"s right 😁 Maybe he avoided adultery by just having his wives heads lopped off when he tired of them 😱
 
A bit of heads up JB...the latest phenmenon sweeping England is a thing called "Borris Dancing"...usually occurring at village fairs and public gatherings...Large heavy set men in ill fitting suits wearing used mops on their heads blunder through the throng armed with a large goblet of expensive Claret insulting peoples intelligence, taking their money and groping them in a manner suggesting long lost friends. Sometimes in the Northern regions they adopt hi viz tabards and a safety helmet..particularly when travelling by public transport. It was decreed by the Queen in her final hours that they are to be bludgeoned on sight and made into fertiliser.....or did I dream it?
 
meako said:
A bit of heads up JB...the latest phenmenon sweeping England is a thing called "Borris Dancing"...usually occurring at village fairs and public gatherings...Large heavy set men in ill fitting suits wearing used mops on their heads blunder through the throng armed with a large goblet of expensive Claret insulting peoples intelligence, taking their money and groping them in a manner suggesting long lost friends. Sometimes in the Northern regions they adopt hi viz tabards and a safety helmet..particularly when travelling by public transport. It was decreed by the Queen in her final hours that they are to be bludgeoned on sight and made into fertiliser.....or did I dream it?
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Thanks for the heads-up mate, I live in hope of a good bit of Boris bludgeoning! :thumbsup:

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That is a nice collection of saps you have there Jack! At one time I carried one of those things (briefly) in my days in the constabulary, but I was always able to use charm, wit, and a good vocabulary to defuse situations and ensure harmonious outcomes in my 15 years of public service. No need for violence!
 
jc57 said:
I was always able to use charm, wit, and a good vocabulary to defuse situations and ensure harmonious outcomes in my 15 years of public service. No need for violence!
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You could have found SOME reason to bludgeon someone - you just didn’t try hard enough. Slacker…

Also - Jack Black : blackjack 🤔
(did somebody already make that joke somewhere?)
 
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jc57 said:
That is a nice collection of saps you have there Jack! At one time I carried one of those things (briefly) in my days in the constabulary, but I was always able to use charm, wit, and a good vocabulary to defuse situations and ensure harmonious outcomes in my 15 years of public service. No need for violence!
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Thanks John, you're a gentleman, those virtues are sometimes underrated my friend. Certainly not by me :) :thumbsup:

Here's a British policeman's truncheon, from the not too distant past. They were carried in a special pocket. They have ASPs now.

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Just Tom. said:
Also - Jack Black : blackjack 🤔
(did somebody already make that joke somewhere?)
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Tom, you are Oscar Wilde reborn! :D ;) :thumbsup:
 
Not keen on the recently announced by Prime Minister Albos public holiday for the funeral....I miss a days pay...while he gets paid bonus rates to be flown to the UK to attend....good news though... SAS dude Ben Roberts Smith is going too....??? endless possibilties there.
 
Just Tom. said:
Um, - thanks?
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Only in the wit department Tom...not the rest of it! :D :thumbsup:
meako said:
Speaking of saps....How is King Charles?....is everyone in the empire going to the Outer Hebrides to live as simple crofters on seal blubber and kelp....except if KC gets starving...a big RAF chopper picks him up.
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LOL! :D He's been busy sacking his staff, some of whom have been dressing him, and squeezing toothpaste onto his toothbrush, for decades, and struggling to write his own name :p


meako said:
Not keen on the recently announced by Prime Minister Albos public holiday for the funeral....I miss a days pay...while he gets paid bonus rates to be flown to the UK to attend....good news though... SAS dude Ben Roberts Smith is going too....??? endless possibilties there.
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Not you too! :eek:

www.theguardian.com

Recession threat looms as UK grinds to a halt to mourn Queen

Bank holiday for state funeral could send productivity plummeting at a time when country is struggling for growth
www.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com

 
Don't get me wrong... I dont mind the royals or a bit of British pageantry...but I utterly despise the kind of simpering gibbons like the one shown in the King Chucky signing video....hilarious btw...the guy onlooking just looks like a little kid pooing his nappy. I know exactly what he's thinking....I will be able to tell my grandchildren that I was present at "the signing" simper simper....But you know what they will say?
We've run out Seal eat yer boiled kelp ya silly old #%@#wit.Quick before the chopper fuelled on red wine gets here.
 
No worries we're sending Ben Roberts Smith VC. (scandal in progress as we speak..look him up...Its an appalling state of affairs).
I'm gathering a collection of traditional colonial organic handmade Borrissing sticks for Big Ben to take with on his trip to the UK.
With the correct amount of pressure and accuracy I'm tipping he will rid the land of the unsightly and annoying plague of Boris Men.20220915_123158.jpg
That nasty looking nulla nulla at bottom I found in the toy bin at an op shop for 10bux..its a solid heavy implement with incredible potential to cause injury and damage. It looks a lot like the weapon used by Chingachgook in Last of The Mohicans.
 
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