Embarrassing knife stories?

P2P said:
An SAK has nailed my more times than all other knives combined, yet I still carry a pioneer daily. The blade on it is probably the only tool I don’t use. Save that work for my para 2
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Yep. same here, the knife that has "attacked" me most. They have a mean closing action on them !
 
I suspect the SAK attack frequency is because many of us carry one all the time, hence it is the knife most likely to bite you.
 
while camping, I was fishing around in the handle of my leatherman for the bottle opener (judging by my dexterity at the time, I had NO business having another beer). When I finally located it and folded it out, the serrated blade came with it and made mess of my thumb during it’s visit. Judging from the amount of bloody paper towels in my tent the next morning, I think someone must have slipped me a blood thinner or something...?
 
It didn't happen to me but it's pretty funny though.
Years ago, after a day of deer hunting with my uncle and cousins we stopped on the way home at the gas station. My cousin was carrying a small, (maybe 4"in blade) very pointy Case fixed blade in a pouch sheath. He didn't notice when he got up to go inside the store the handle had wedged between the seat cushions and the knife had came out the sheath and was now sticking up point first out of the seat. When we got back to the truck he went and sat down and yelled LOUD and jumped up like he had sat on a rattlesnake! We all jumped too, and were like what the hells wrong with you? He was yelling, something bit me in the ass! And then as he was looking around in the backseat he managed to stab himself in the palm of his hand on the knife because only a half inch or so of the point was visible. The cut on his hand wasn't bad, but by the time we got home the whole ass end of his pants almost to the back of his knees was soaked through with blood.
 
Got a few:

Used to work at this yogurt shop when I was 16. As mentioned before, I also nicked a can of coke in a big case with a dogbite balisong. It was so small though that I couldn't tell which one was hit so it was misting every can in the package for a few minutes till I could find it.

I was working in Pittsburgh earlier this year. I live far from there so naturally I brought a bunch of knives. Among them was a cold steel Kobun which I typically carry inside the waistband. Anyway, couple of co-workers and I go to a Chinese buffet, and as I go to get a plate, I hear a loud *clack* behind me. Naturally, I wheel around and see my kobun on the floor. I grabbed it up and stuck it in my pocket, whilst making sure "nobody saw that, right?"

Another time, I was trying to open a ti-lite on my shirt right in front. Ended up barely missing my ribs as it slid into it. Not sure what I was thinking on that one.

Plenty of throwing knives across the room at work/home and hammering balisongs into my fingers too, but those weren't really embarrassing
 
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Many years ago my first butterfly knife arrived in the mail. Excited I immediately ran to show my wife who was giving my 1 year old son a bath. Showing off a few simply flips it slipped out of my hand, flying six feet and landing at her feet. She looked at me, looked at the knife, looked at our son, then strongly suggested I get the hell out of there and stop throwing knives at them.
 
A few weeks ago wanted to grab a beer can from the fridge, from a fresh 6 pack that was all the way in the back of the fridge with a lot of stuff in front of it. I did not feel like rearranging everything to get to the beer, and figured if I would cut the plastic collar packing of the first can on the left, I could reach over everything and pick out the beer just fine, without to much fuss. I took out my pocket knife, and proceeded to slice the plastic collar. It did not slice that well, using just the tip of the knife, so I pushed a bit harder. When I cut trough the collar, I also cut straight trough an inch of the beer can, and beer was spraying out all over the stuff in front of it. Anyway, the can was free, so I quickly took it out and drank the remainder of the beer that had not spilled in the fridge and on the floor. Being lazy got me to clean up that entire shelf in the fridge, and mop the floor.
Afterwards I comforted my stupidity with another beer.
 
When I was 10 the neighbor boy and I found an old rusty butcher knife stuck in an eucalyptus tree. We took the knife to his older brother who put it to the grinder his dads shop; Ok he said hold this giveing me a piece of cardboard. He took a swing and missed, after his brother and I got through laughing I said where did all the red paint come from, yep lost the top of my right thumb. Mom and dad took care of the problem.

Last year I went to field day at my granddaughter school, they had put up signs with zip ties on the tennis court fence. After the games were over it was time to clean up and no one had anything to take down the signs so I took out my stockman and started cutting; had a problem with one and use to much force and the knife slipped cut right through the nail and knuckle of my left thumb, right in front of kids, teachers and all the other dads, lots and lots of Band-Aids took care of that one.

Three weeks later I decided to go out at dusk to cut the tree limb from my neighbors lilac that was hitting the house. The limb was thicker than I thought and it trapped the saw; so of course I pulled and the saw came loose and hit the back of my index finger of my left hand and open it to the bone. Went in the house dripping blood everywhere and ask my son inlaw to take to the emergency room. While the doctor was giving me a bunch of stitches he asked what happen to my thumb, after I told him he just looked at me and did not say anything.
 
microbe said:
A few weeks ago wanted to grab a beer can from the fridge, from a fresh 6 pack that was all the way in the back of the fridge with a lot of stuff in front of it. I did not feel like rearranging everything to get to the beer, and figured if I would cut the plastic collar packing of the first can on the left, I could reach over everything and pick out the beer just fine, without to much fuss. I took out my pocket knife, and proceeded to slice the plastic collar. It did not slice that well, using just the tip of the knife, so I pushed a bit harder. When I cut trough the collar, I also cut straight trough an inch of the beer can, and beer was spraying out all over the stuff in front of it. Anyway, the can was free, so I quickly took it out and drank the remainder of the beer that had not spilled in the fridge and on the floor. Being lazy got me to clean up that entire shelf in the fridge, and mop the floor.
Afterwards I comforted my stupidity with another beer.
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SHOTGUN!!!!!!! :D
 
AntDog said:
Let's see...

I've cut the tip off my thumb sharpening a machete when I was 12 and my dog ate it. Stabbed a stockman straight through my foot playing mumbledy peg. Stabbed an old timer cave bear into my friend's foot playing stretch.

I was cutting a branch off the tree in the front yard once with my Ontario marine combat knife and somehow it firmly stuck me right in the sternum. My ol lady was talking to the neighbor lady in the front yard at the time.

I was whittling one time watching the super bowl and whittled a long, deep cut into my thumb that took lots of stitches to close. ER doc had to report it as a knife wound and told them I was not intoxicated (when I clearly was).

A person who shall remain nameless was doing something stupid in a fit of rage. I reached in to grab the knife and almost lost the tip of my other thumb. The cut went right through the nail, took many stitches.

I tried to "hacky sack" my Rinaldi LEO when I dropped it so it wouldn't hit the floor tip down. It cut a chunk out of the top of my foot and still hit tip down and bent the tip.

I've stabbed several knives right through leather sheaths (once very recently). I once cut right into a school book slicing an apple on it.

I had a Spyderco harpy on a long cord with a monkey fist on the end. I would hold the monkey fist in my hand and whip the cord around my hand a couple of times until the knife wound up in my hand and would flick open. I used to do it flawlessly all the time, and it was pretty cool until I flung the knife into the side of my wife's head one night when we were walking. Thank the good lord it hadn't opened and didn't hurt her at all.

I once dropped the folder I was carrying on the concrete and kicked it no less than twice trying to pick it up. I had just bought it.

All of this stuff was extremely embarrassing to me. I am sure there are more stories I don't remember, or tried hard to forget. The only good thing is I have learned a lot of lessons. :D
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You need more than a mask. o_O;)
 
SteelJunkee said:
You need more than a mask. o_O;)
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So what's your suggestion for me? So far I've got bubble wrap and cotton balls.

I'm more careful with knives than most these days. When you do as many embarrassing things with knives as I have, you tend to learn from your mistakes.

Many of the things in my post happened when I was a dumb kid. I WAS taught knife safety, by my father and in Boy Scouts. Even earned my totin chit. However, shit still happens. :/
 
Tee-Hee, AntDog said the poopy word. :p In all seriousness, it would behoove us all to reread your post of horror, post 48, to remind us of how easy it is to do damage when young or not (like me ;)) and not paying attention. Thanks for "manning up" :thumbsup: I'm sure that with your totin chit you got taught (as all we old timers were) to "think it through"; a lesson which needs to be taken seriously. Some of the injuries mentioned/shown in many threads are FAR from minor. :eek:
 
katanas said:
Tee-Hee, AntDog said the poopy word. :p In all seriousness, it would behoove us all to reread your post of horror to remind us of how easy it is to do damage when young or not (like me ;)) and not paying attention. Thanks for "manning up" :thumbsup: I'm sure that with your totin chit you got taught (as all we old timers were) to "think it through"; a lesson which needs to be taken seriously. Some of the injuries mentioned/shown in many threads are FAR from minor. :eek:
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Yes indeed. Manning up on this is no problem for me. They're my own dumb mistakes, and I own up to em. My hope is that somebody will read my stupidity and think "man, I shouldn't ever do that! This one dummy I read about on the internet hurt himself doing that."

We all truly do need to think it through, be aware of what we're doing at all times, always cut away from ourselves, and many more rules of safe knife usage.

Even with all the things we learn and all the training in the safe use of knives, stuff still goes haywire sometimes.
 
Great thread.
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Blues Bender said:
I tried to jimmy a door open with my Protech and accidentally closed the blade on my finger. Needed 3 stitches, and I still have nerves damage (numb) over 8 months later.
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I have got myself closing knives several times. my hands are not precise and it has happened more then once.
 
Great stories guys! One that comes to mind for me is how I hit the handle of my Wharhead (from Timberhill Customs) on a vehicle getting out, and watched it scatter across the pavement. Dinged the micarta scales and rolled the edge. Being my second nicest knife, it got put away after that.
 
Ok. This one also is not mine but.... One day i`ll show you a picture of my left hand....

A buddy of mine once shaved a ball, opening an OTF in his pocket :rolleyes:.
 
dkb45 said:
I doesn't get more embarrassing than having defended Jared West and Quartermaster knives, except maybe for still loving their objectively horrid design aesthetic.
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LOL! I looked into JW a while back and the knives on his site looked exactly like the ones I saw at the mall in one of those cheesy import stores.
 
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