Our "Front Porch" ....

When my "Peanut" was 3 we used to have tea parties just her and me. I still smile when I think about those times. Then there were the years when her mother (my first wife) kept us apart just because the fairy FO mentioned was "present".
My Peanut then cam to live with Me and now she is off/away in College.
I sit and listen to my Wife talk to her (the other night at 0230hrs) and I hurt. She is having "boy" problems and of course I struggle to keep from jumping in the truck and driving up there and revoking the little boyfriend-assholes airway card. (I don't believe there is a right to breath in the Bill of Rights)
Anyway. I digress, Enjoy these years.
 
Jensen81 said:
This is not really relevant to the current topic but I thought that you guys might get a kick out of it. My wife and I read to our kids every night before bed. We picked up a new children's book called "Diary of a worm" a very funny book with great illustrations. It is my 3 year olds new favorite book but she has a little trouble with the title. She calls it "Diarrhea Worm" HaHa! She honestly thinks that's the title and we don't correct her because its just so damn funny. My wife and I cry laughing every time. Kids are awesome.
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ROFLMAO!!! :p :D :D
 
Lots of great stories fellas!! I appreciate them all.

It just goes to show how we take stuff for granted without knowing. Then it's stories/memories or others trails/tribulations that bring us/me back down to earth. And learn to appreciate and take advantage of what we have here today :)

Sometimes I just get caught up in the everyday grind. Go figure!! But what a great day and age to be apart of... And sub forum, of course!! You never know what life will bring you. And just like FO glorious partner... Lol! It's the small things he kept over looking.

You guys are great!! I look forward to more to come, as well as the great to stay :)

Have an amazing day!!!
 
I am absolutely terrified for the teenage years and boys. I am going to have a really hard time not being overly aggressive with anyone who messes with one of my little girls. Im hoping that i will be a little more level headed by then. But we will see. :). True story, when my wife and I found out we were having a girl 4 years ago I went and got a pistol permit. Haha. I'm hoping that lifting weights, abundant tattoos, a hinderer proudly displayed in my right front pocket and my gun collection will keep the boys away. Hopefully they will just think its not worth dealing with dad and steer clear of my babies. I hear that if you make an example out of one of them that it keeps others away. Is this true?
 
Jensen81 said:
I am absolutely terrified for the teenage years and boys. I am going to have a really hard time not being overly aggressive with anyone who messes with one of my little girls. Im hoping that i will be a little more level headed by then. But we will see. :). True story, when my wife and I found out we were having a girl 4 years ago I went and got a pistol permit. Haha. I'm hoping that lifting weights, abundant tattoos, a hinderer proudly displayed in my right front pocket and my gun collection will keep the boys away. Hopefully they will just think its not worth dealing with dad and steer clear of my babies. I hear that if you make an example out of one of them that it keeps others away. Is this true?
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My brother used to clean his guns on the dining room table whenever a boy was coming over to pick up my neice. It worked great right up until the kid that came over and knew more about his guns than he did! :p :D
 
If I may be of service on this topic. I know there is a mixture of humor and true concern so I will offer this. First off - yes you will be different by then. The years and the mileage does the same thing to "Dad" as it does to tires - it wears the edges off.
Do the heavy lifting everyday of being "Dad" and by the time the road gets bumpy much of the ground work has already been laid. Not saying there won't be challenges - there will be. Mistakes will happen but, as long as everyone gets to walk away from the aftermath - no worries.
As for Daughters, little girls grow to be Women learning how Men should act and treat Women - From their Dad. Period.
Be a great Dad, be involved and teach and mentor and your little girl will grow to be a wonderful happy Woman in an otherwise challenging World.
I made a mistake with my Daughter, I allowed the misconception that "boys" were not welcome to proliferate because it served a very selfish part of me. My daughter is a very bright, very attractive 19 year old Lady that is just now navigating waters that by rights should have been encountered at 14-15 years old and for that I am sorry. It was not an act of commission on my part but one of omission. I simply never took the steps to mitigate the common perception that "Rubi is scarey".
The background, the training, the guns/knives and the stories ALL served to fuel the "rep" that probably kept the boys away. I know she doesn't blame me, heck no one has ever even connected the dots but I have and I know what did it and it was me.
Now my Peanut doesn't quite know how to deal with the hurt of her first break-up and I wish it had been when she was still down the hall 1st door on the left instead of hours away.
I lay in bed at night worrying about ALL four of my kids and tears often run down my cheek as they do now, as I think and hope and pray that they ALL will just be Happy in Life.
 
Wow Rubi, nice job containing yourself. My oldest daughter worked as a waitress at a local bar/ grill a few years back in the summer when I got a call from her at 1 AM saying some weird guy was harassing her. I hopped into my unmarked car and took off, normally a five minute trip was shortened considerably thanks to the LS1 power plant under the hood. Two ways this could go down, first identify myself as LEO and take appropriate police action. Or the favored identify myself as Dad and take appropriate kick ass action. Number two won out and shit bird had an invitation outside head first through a closed front door. Once shit bird landed face first on the sidewalk he decided the trip through the front door was enough fun for one evening and fighting a pycho wasn't on the list for the evenings activities.

She still talks about the day her knight in shining armor rescued her ( and bought a new door). I am grateful that the statute of limitations are up on that one and there were no witnesses.
I know where you are coming from Rubi !
 
Being "Dad" is/was the hardest-Best job I ever didn't know I wanted to do the Best I could having had "zero" training and no manual to read. :)

I always have believed that anyone could be a father but "Dad" is earned.

( btw FO, nice pick on the option#2 :))
 
That's hilarious LW. I actually had the father of a girl I dated in college do the same to me. I ended up getting really tight with him and he taught me alot about guns and life in general. I miss him but not his daughter haha! Funny how that works sometimes.

Rubi thank you for the wise words. There is alot to be said about letting kids make their own mistakes. I will guide them but I know deep down that they need to learn the hard way sometimes just like I did. There are important lessons learned from mistakes and previous bad experiences and I know the same holds true with dating. It will be heart wrenching for me to watch them cry about a failed relationship. But it's all part of the process of creating a well rounded and stable adult.
 
Jensen81 said:
That's hilarious LW. I actually had the father of a girl I dated in college do the same to me. I ended up getting really tight with him and he taught me alot about guns and life in general. I miss him but not his daughter haha! Funny how that works sometimes.

Rubi thank you for the wise words. There is alot to be said about letting kids make their own mistakes. I will guide them but I know deep down that they need to learn the hard way sometimes just like I did. There are important lessons learned from mistakes and previous bad experiences and I know the same holds true with dating. It will be heart wrenching for me to watch them cry about a failed relationship. But it's all part of the process of creating a well rounded and stable adult.
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Thank you and Yes, it is extremely painful to sit back and watch. I am letting my Wife handle this one but, I am sure she knows I am listening carefully.
My kids bought me a little book one year, I think it was called "Dadism's" funny little bathroom book full of funny things Dad's say.
I think they would tell you they ALL 4 could put one together too. One that comes to mind was about - mistakes.
" I expect you to make mistakes that is how you learn BUT repeating the same mistakes becomes a Behavior and that we will talk about. I will let you make a great many mistakes and be there to help you as long as I have a reasonable expectation it is a mistake you will walk away from. The ones you won't - I will be there to stop you - hopefully."
Watching your kids "hurt" especially emotionally is one of the hardest things you'll ever go through as a Parent.
 
My SIL (wife's sister) and her two girls moved in with us a year ago next week, moving up from GA to get a fresh start (SIL & family was living with her mother, mother defaulted on her home loan and was foreclosed - her fault (another mess entirely) - $30K CC debit, low-paying job, no benefits) and BIL was supposed to follow once he was done with the semester he was enrolled in (Post-9/11 GI Bill after being separated from the AF - also his fault). Fast forward to May and BIL decides he's happier with his 20 y/o GF , wants a divorce, and won't be moving to AK - where he mutually chose to move his family. To date has provided ZERO financial support to his girls, and refuses to come visit them (claims he can't afford it).

SIL is working for my wife, making over twice what she was before (BIL could have taken the same job), working hard to climb out of their debt - we're committed to supporting them until she can get on her own feet. Anyway, the nieces are now 11 and 5 and I while I'm technically "Uncle Shane" I am, for practical purposes, instant "dad". My wife and I don't have our own kids, we were both AD - her for 12 years and 15 for me, I'm still full-time just in the ANG now - and never really wanted kids of our own, plus we both did well over our fair shares of deployments and remotes. We didn't want to raise kids long distance and now we're content just being Uncle and Aunt :)

So, the learning curve was and continues to be steep! To put it bluntly, SIL/BIL are lazy - as people and parents. We're working on SIL's work ethic, because the girls are sponges. I worry that the 11 y/o has already developed some really bad habits (she's very spoiled and entitled), but she's getting better - we try to hold her accountable to our expectations and her actions (or inaction), but it's tough when SIL doesn't follow through. I am more hopeful for the 5 y/o, she's super smart and eager to please - cute too :)

So, I too dread the coming teenage years - the 11 y/o underwent certain physiological changes fairly young and is already boy crazy. Fortunately (I hope) it seems 11 y/o boys are still behind in that regard.. My hope is we can teach her some smarts and work on her maturity, but we're all super worried about it..

AND I would love to treat BIL to a "special visit" given the craptastic treatment he's subjecting SIL and, especially, the girls to. Breaks our heart to see the 5 y/o cry herself to sleep because she misses her daddy and can't understand why he's not here..
 
Final Option said:
Wow Rubi, nice job containing yourself. My oldest daughter worked as a waitress at a local bar/ grill a few years back in the summer when I got a call from her at 1 AM saying some weird guy was harassing her. I hopped into my unmarked car and took off, normally a five minute trip was shortened considerably thanks to the LS1 power plant under the hood. Two ways this could go down, first identify myself as LEO and take appropriate police action. Or the favored identify myself as Dad and take appropriate kick ass action. Number two won out and shit bird had an invitation outside head first through a closed front door. Once shit bird landed face first on the sidewalk he decided the trip through the front door was enough fun for one evening and fighting a pycho wasn't on the list for the evenings activities.

She still talks about the day her knight in shining armor rescued her ( and bought a new door). I am grateful that the statute of limitations are up on that one and there were no witnesses.
I know where you are coming from Rubi !
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Great story FO! Too bad problems these days can't be solved so simply!

RubiconSS said:
Being "Dad" is/was the hardest-Best job I ever didn't know I wanted to do the Best I could having had "zero" training and no manual to read. :)

I always have believed that anyone could be a father but "Dad" is earned.

( btw FO, nice pick on the option#2 :))
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Rubi, I'm a perfect example of "zero training"! I'm an only child, thank God my wife is the eldest of four and basically raised her siblings! What I wouldn't give for a "checklist"!!

Also spot on IRT father vs dad. BIL is a perfectly crappy example of that, the only thing he's earned is a broken nose if we're ever in the same room - and that will be administered by my wife!! :eek:
 
God bless BOTH You and Your Wife Shane.... talking about some heavy lifting. Hopefully coming here provides some respite and battery recharging energy.
Keep doing what you're doing, never too late to help shape a young one.
As for the challenges provided by SIL/BIL - you and your wife have earned a veto vote IMO over much of their shenanigans. A simple, "You are welcome and welcome to Help anytime" look should suffice when needed. Hopefully.
Uggghhh the crap that little innocents get handed by the Adults in their Life that are supposed to protect and serve - makes my hair stand up sometimes and anyone who has ever seen my hair, that's saying something.
 
I will throw this little pearl out there for those attempting to raise young ones these days.

Take Everyone of the challenges our Parents faced back when they were raising us and add to it...... Kids today are "learning" how to act from the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, MTV and every other "Reality" show, Real Housewives from Everywhere. immediate worldwide access to every imagineable piece of information complete with video "how to DIY" attached to any topic of curiosity even though we know - kids aren't curious :rolleyes:
Again add immediate "venting" of every emotional whim on facebook, twitter, eBlob, youblog, Igag, whatever.... Think back. Who among Us could have or would have stood up to review and rebuke of comments we would have made and "Sent" back when we were 15-16-17-20? In the heat of any given moment - Not Me.
These are tough times on top of tough times when it comes to being young.
 
Really have enjoyed these life stories on a cold ( 6 degrees) stay inside and keep warm day. Rubi your wisdom is priceless. Being the daughter of a LEO and SWAT operator was tough on both of them, my son liked all the he man stuff. The boyfriends were indeed scared crazy of me. I tried very hard not to be overbearing, but It didn't work that well for me. I always saw the consequences of bad decisions and just did not want my kids making those mistakes.

My wife was able to temper my demeanor and interpret in a more understanding way to the kids. Anyhow we got through it all and are very close now. Pretty much retired because of some medical issues, but just dabble with Intel now so, might say the edge is off now.

J81 you and your wife will do fine, just taking an interest in your children is huge and you guys have that base already covered.

Shane, man you and your wife are what the meaning of what family is all about! Hopefully they will learn from you and your wife!
 
Thanks for the kind words and wisdom fellas! I remember when I was a teenager and my dad was imploring me to learn from his experiences and not make the same mistakes he did. Of course, I was 16-17ish and I knew it all :roll eyes: I often think about those exchanges and something I read when I was a little older, don't remember the source, "a smart man (person) learns from his/her mistakes, a wise man learns from the mistakes of others". While I have few regrets in my life so far, I do wish I had clued into that nugget sooner - hopefully can drill that through a couple of skulls ;)

Rubi, I'm with you on all of the competing influences the young'ens are bombarded with - just yesterday I cringed as the 11 y/o was belting out some sapid Miley Cyrus song.. Sometimes I feel like the warden around here: "no you can't watch this, no you can't do that, how about you put away the laptop and play outside…". We did get her some archery lessons for her birthday and snowboarding lessons for Christmas so hopefully I can engage her in outdoor activities that we can interact with.. Now if only I can get her to use the proper kind of wax on my truck…. (I keed, I keed ;) )


Final Option said:
Really have enjoyed these life stories on a cold ( 6 degrees) stay inside and keep warm day. Rubi your wisdom is priceless. Being the daughter of a LEO and SWAT operator was tough on both of them, my son liked all the he man stuff. The boyfriends were indeed scared crazy of me. I tried very hard not to be overbearing, but It didn't work that well for me. I always saw the consequences of bad decisions and just did not want my kids making those mistakes.

My wife was able to temper my demeanor and interpret in a more understanding way to the kids. Anyhow we got through it all and are very close now. Pretty much retired because of some medical issues, but just dabble with Intel now so, might say the edge is off now.

J81 you and your wife will do fine, just taking an interest in your children is huge and you guys have that base already covered.

Shane, man you and your wife are what the meaning of what family is all about! Hopefully they will learn from you and your wife!
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FO - it's been well above freezing here for the past week or so, it hit almost 50 the other day and today it's a balmy 35, it's shorts and t-shirt weather! :D
 
How are you liking that shiny new truck Shane? Mine is so friggin caked with road salt this time of year you can't even tell what color it is. Haha. Gotta love winter. :)
 
Well, I cleaned it up right before the temps went above freezing - my SA irt what the weather was about to do was low..

It stayed clean for about a day ;) Other than that, and waiting for the Duramax to settle in and my gas milage to go up, I love it :D

Not going anywhere today, I have a date with the mailman :eek:
 
This is just one of the many reasons why I like to come here, converse and associate with all you'se.... Just a good group of great people :) Thanks for sharing everyone. And thanks for the tips.

I do not have any kids yet... The wife and I are working on that.... So time will tell.... I'm excited though :)

Shane what you going to reveal buddy? Mailman = something good
 
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