The "Instant Knife Collection" Giveaway!!! WINNER ANNOUNCED

"What's an oxymoron?" "Rap music."

Favorite thing about Canada : The maple leaf on the flag.

Why I like knives : I believe they rival the wheel for the most important/useful tool mankind has discovered.
 
Joke:

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
*
The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, no! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'
*
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'
*
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
*
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
*
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
*
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
'Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
*
Moral of this story...
*
Don't mess with the old dogs... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience. Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more 'youthfully challenged'.

What do I like about Canada? Mooses

What do I like about knives? A knife is a relatively simple tool, but it can be used for so many different things.

Thanks for the chance at the instant collection!

Ric
 
Nice contest! Thanks for the chance.

Joke: A blonde is driving down a country road. She looks over to the right, and sees another blond, in a row boat, out in the middle of a field, rowing. The first blond can't believe her eyes, stops the car, and gets out to look at the blond in the rowboat. The longer she looks, the madder she gets.

Finally she says: "You know, it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name. You're just sitting in the middle of a field in a row boat rowing. That's so stupid! If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!"

Favorite things about Canada: Hockey, Beer, Bianca Beauchamp

Why I like Knives: Part of me appreciates it as a tool and all of its uses, part of me appreciates it for the beauty and design that is represented in the makers forum.
 
-Post a joke
Click to expand...
"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," says the bartender.

A neutrino walks into a bar.

-Say what your favourite thing about Canada is.
Click to expand...
Canada is really big!
[video=youtube;9vxDDcTc64c]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vxDDcTc64c[/video]

-Tell us all what it is about knives that you like.
Click to expand...
I like knives because they can cut things! :)
 
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic men eating grass by the road side.

He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate, and asked, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here."

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

"But how 'bout my friend?"

The lawyer turned to the other man and said, "You come with us, too."

"But, sir," said the friend, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the poor fellows says: "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."


What aboot Canada? Skiing in Banff.

Knives are the best hand tools.
 
IN!

Q. How many knives does it take to change a light bulb?

A. About 5. Don't ask why, its just a stab in the dark.
 
Thanks for the contest..
Q.-How many knives does it take to change a light bulb?
A.-About 4 , Don't ask why it's just a stab in the dark....

Sidney Crosby, one of the greatest hockey players on the planet...

#1 survivial tool..You can make just about anything with a knife and an imagination...

Rich

(No way the same joke posted at the same time)
 
Whats green and taste like yellow paint?

Green paint!

Canadian bacon! haha

Well the usefulness and their is just some indescribable coolness that goes along with them!
 
The though of giving my knife collection away is going to keep me up all night D:

Joke:
A polar bear walks into bar and says to the bartender "I'd like a rum............ and coke"
The bartender says "What's with the big pause?"
The polar bear looks causally down and wiggles his fingers before replying "I dunno, I've always had em"

Canada:
I love Canada because of the attitude of acceptance, we have an attitude of a multicultural mosaic rather than a melting pot that converts everyone into generic 'Canadians', as well as having legal gay marriage and the rights to religion and opinion. It truly is the freedom my grandfather fought for.

Knives:
I love contrast in all things, I love to eat a hot fudge sundae because of contrast of hot and cold. Knives to me are the ultimate contrast, the elegant juxtaposition of being one of the first tools that separated us from monkeys to the precise engineering and technology that go into producing today's incredible knives. So much progress in both technology and ideas go into creating something that is at heart, a reflection of our most primitive selves.

Plus they're pretty :D
 
What's a buccaneer?
Too high a price to pay for corn.

Favorite thing about Canada: Bacon and Beer

Love for knives: A knife is like an appendage. I would feel naked without one.
 
ooooooooooooooo sweet!

-What did the little girl with no arms and legs get for Christmas?
-Cancer.
-Favorite thing about Canada?.... Maple Syrup and hockey fights
-You can do anything with a knife from popping open a beer to a little home security >:)
 
killteamTRS said:
ooooooooooooooo sweet!

-What did the little girl with no arms and legs get for Christmas?
-Cancer.
-Favorite thing about Canada?.... Maple Syrup and hockey fights
-You can do anything with a knife from popping open a beer to a little home security >:)
Click to expand...

Dude that joke is offensive, You might want to change it.
 
Teacher: How many letters are there totally in "A.B.C.D"?
Student: 4
Teacher: I meant the complete set, not just "A.B.C.D"
Student: 52
Teacher: What?! How?
Student: Lower case 26 and Upper case 26.

-George St. Pierre

-I love knives because they're sharp and to the point :p
 
A man walks into a bar and walks up to the bartender and asks him to pour ten shots of tequila. The bartender pours out ten shots all in a row.
One right after another, the man begins drinking the shots. One, two, three four.
"Whoa!" Says the bartender, "Why are you drinking the shots like that?"
The man drinks another shot and answers, "You would drink like this too if you had what I have". Then he drinks another shot.
"What do you have?", the bartender asks.
The man finishes drinking the last of the shots, looks the bartender straight in the eyes and replies, "Two dollars".

My favorite thing about Canada is how far away it keeps Sarah Palin from me.

The best thing about knives are their everlasting qualities. Its not like an electronic that becomes obsolete. I will always have a use for my knives.
 
Q. What did one eye say to the other?
A. Between me and you something smells.

My favorite thing about Canada is that my friend, Brad, is from there. Canada raised a good man.

I like knives because somehow they're always the right tool for the job.
 
I hope I've got this right.

I like Canada because without them we'd be much farther north and much colder a lot of the time.

I like knives because good ones are beautiful creations and examples of fine craftsmanship, design and function.

The State Trooper pulled over a speeding car and when he reached the drivers window found it was a little granny of exceedingly advanced age. He asked for the usual documents; drivers license, registration, and proof of insurance. While looking though the offered papers he was shocked to find this octogenarian held a concealed weapon permit.

He immediately mentioned his surprise at finding she held such a permit and asked the little old lady if she was carrying a firearm. After a moments hesitation she responded that, yes, she had a .45 automatic in the glove compartment.

There was something about her demeanor when she answered his question that he followed up with a second; "Is that the only weapon in the car ma'am?" "Well, no officer, now that you ask, I also have a 9 millimeter Glock in the console pocket."

Following his training he replied, "So those are the only two firearms in the car? You have no more firearms?" Granny sheepishly ducked her head a bit and opened her purse to display a Smith & Wesson snub nose .38 and then looked up at the Trooper and said, "That's all, I promise."

The Trooper was understandably dumbfounded by the firepower this small and aged woman was carrying with her and he bent to look at her and kindly asked, "Ma'am, what exactly are you so afraid of?"

Without a moments hesitation she looked him right in the eye and said, "Not a goll'durned thing!"
 
1: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

2: Favorite thing about canada: Some of the best hunting in the entire world!!!

3. There are very few things in the world that offer such a combination of artistry, practical value, and a graceful demonstration of real world philosophy, as a well made knife. Looking at a knife will explain without a single word, the philosophy underlying it's existence. There is an overwhelming difference between a well made machete and a hand made katana... they are both perfectly suited to the world they were designed to exist in, and neither would survive a moment in the other.
 
"Hey, are you single?"

"No, I'm plural."

Best thing about Canada: 18 to drink! (in Quebec at least)
 
Wow...that's quite the give away!

Here's my entry:
stabman said:
-Post a joke...just make sure it's PG. If you want to repeat someone else's, I guess that's fine.
Click to expand...

What do you call a really nosy pepper?
JALAPENO BUSINESS!!

stabman said:
-Say what your favourite thing about Canada is.
Click to expand...

There's lots to love about Canada but if I had to choose just one thing......the poutine...I love poutine

stabman said:
-Tell us all what it is about knives that you like.
Click to expand...

I like knives because they're so useful to have around. They're also very aesthetically pleasing to me.

Thanks for the chance!
 
thanks for the chance!!

joke- why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven ate 9! loloollll
fav thing about canadia- keeps us americans warm. thanks for bein our hat!
fav thing about knives- how useful they are and how customizable they are. theres a knife for everyone out there. and if there isnt, taking one and making it how you like it is pretty easy
 
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