The "Instant Knife Collection" Giveaway!!! WINNER ANNOUNCED

Some people are like slinkys. They aren't good for much, but it's fun to push them down stairs.

Canada, I really enjoyed the wilderness there during a canoeing trip that entered Canada from the minnesota border area.

And for knives, historically, they're the first tools used by man, and the reason we're not running around with spears hunting for something to eat. They are an amazing piece of engineering and machinery, they are pretty, and useful. Doesn't get much better than that.
 
1. why was the policeman in bed all day? he was woking an undercover operation

2. healthcare

3. i love the sound they make when they lock open

thanks for the chance
 
1st off, thanks for the give away and generousity.

1) I will post my 4 year old daughter's joke: Her: "Knock, Knock." Me: "Who's there." Her: "Ava" Me: "Ava who?" Her: "Ava, your daughter." Me: *confused*. Her: (quite seriously)I don't know why knock knocks are funny... best knock knock joke I've ever heard :)

2) Canada... Never been there, but my uncle came from there, so I guess that's my favorite thing from Canada thus far.

3) Cause they are freaking awesome, good ones don't lose value, a hobby that has real world uses, etc.
 
Joke: Things that Will Make You Wonder Why?

•Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
•Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
•Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery?"
•Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
•Why do doctors call what they do "practice?"
•Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
•Why is the man who invests all your money call a broker?
•Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
•Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
•Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
•Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
•You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
•Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
•Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
•If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
•If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Favorite thing about Canada: The Mountains, Ay. :p
What I like about knive's: The functionality of a knife. It can be used as a combat weapon if needed and then also used as an everyday tool. There is something "Everyday" that you can come with as an excuse to use your knife.

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-Post a joke:

Lost Fingers
A man working at a lumberyard is pushing a tree through a saw when he accidentally shears off all then of his fingers. He rushes to the emergency room of a nearby hospital where the awaiting doctor takes a look and says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? This is the age of medical advances. We've got microsurgery and all sorts of incredible techniques! Why didn't you bring me the fingers?" "Well, heck, doctor. I tried, but I couldn't pick 'em up!" :D

-Say what your favourite thing about Canada is:

You got the good side of Niagara!!! :p

-Tell us all what it is about knives that you like:

The history and art of making them. :)

Thanks for the chance.
 
Bought myself a ZT0350, signed up to learn more about knives, ended up wandering on here. Y'all have an excellent forum!

Post a joke...just make sure it's PG. If you want to repeat someone else's, I guess that's fine.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands .'
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

Source: http://www.testriffic.com/joke/kelsieaeve/88452


Say what your favourite thing about Canada is.

Poutine. Thank you Canada for inventing Poutine.


Tell us all what it is about knives that you like.
Very convenient, useful, versatile tools. I often use my own Sypderco Endura in the lab over a scalpel. Not kosher, but definitely suits me more.
 
1. There once was a man named Harold. Harold managed to get tickets to a knife competition, but unfortunately he missed the show so he went to see the winners.

He went up to the 3rd place winner and asked him how he won 3rd place. "Well, you see that giant horse fly right there?" asked the 3rd place winner. "yes" replied Harold. Just then the 3rd place winner threw a knife and killed it.

Harold then went to the 2nd place winner and asked him how he won 2nd place. "Well,you see that small mosquito right there?" asked the 2nd place winner. "yes" replied Harold. Just then the 2nd place winner threw a knife and killed it.

Harold went to the 1st place winner last and asked him how he won 1st place. "Well, you see that house fly over there?" asked the 1st place winner. "Yes" replied Harold. Just then the 1st place winner threw the knife, but he didn't kill it.

"What's going on? It's still flying around." exclaimed Harold. "Yes" said the 1st place winner, "but it'll never breed again.".

2. Tim Horton's!!!

3. I enjoy the never ending quest for the perfect EDC.
 
Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, " You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?

I like the pastry in Quebec city.

I love the look and feel of a well made knife.
 
1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

2. I've got some great friends in Canada (Regina, SK), so that's probably my favorite thing....or Corner Gas (RIP)...or maybe Evangeline Lily...hmmm

3. I love a knife that's well made and just fits. I'm all about practical, but when it's being used, it needs to be impressive!
 
-A man and his wife are getting ready for the day. She gets out of the shower, wrapped in a small towel, as he is getting in to the shower. At that time, the doorbell rings. *it should be noted that this woman is drop-dead gorgeous. Light blonde hair, a slight tan, perfect ...um... "proportions"* She goes to see who is at the door wearing only the small towel, looks outside and sees that it is her neighbor, Rob. She opens the door, still slightly wet and Rob is shocked at her beauty. Without thinking, he utters to her "I will give you $800 if you drop your towel". The woman is a bit shocked but a bit intrigued. Rob pulls a large stack of cash from his pocket. The woman sees it and drops her towel, standing there for Rob to admire for a full minute. Rob hands her the money, she wraps up in the towel, and goes back upstairs. As the husband is getting out of the shower, he asks "who was at the door?". Not wanting to seem like there is anything to hide, she just answers "Rob". The husband turns and asks "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

-The Canadian Rockies

-I love what a versatile tool they are. I can do so much with a good knife.
 
Thanks for the giveaway.
A horse walks into a bar and says, "Hay, Bartender." The bartender replies, "What can I get you?" The horse says, "I just told you...Hay.":)

I like the boundry waters. Wild beautiful place.

I like 154CM, liner locks, and G-10.
 
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So a guy walks into a bar, down on his luck, just lost his job, and says to the bartender, "I need a pick-me-up my friend, everything is going downhill for me." The bartender responds, "I know just the thing for you!" A few minutes later he returns with a drink called a grasshopper. After a few grasshoppers the guy pays his tab and leaves carefree.

On his way home he sees a grasshopper on the sidewalk and leans down and says, "I just had a drink named after you..."

So the grasshopper looks up and responded, "You had a drink called an Irving?"

Terrible joke I know, but I do my best...

I love hockey, and therefore Canada is alright in my book, plus they protect my country from all the bad guys coming from the north haha!

My favorite part about knives is that the knife is the most simple tool, yet the most vital and most useful to have at anytime.

Thanks for the chance!
 
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be feminine ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.


My favourite thing about Canada? The beer.

I like knives cause they're handy!
 
So, a man goes out and buys a new convertible sports car, and decides he should see how fast he can get it going. He takes it out on the highway, and he gets it going up to about 80 miles in not a lot of time. A cop tries to pull him over, and he decides to see if he can get away from the cop. After a few minutes going about 120, he sees that he’s just having a mid-life crisis and if he doesn’t stop what he is doing, he is gonna get killed or seriously injured. So, he pulls over, and when the cop gets to his window he says “ok sir, if you can give me a good reason you were going that fast, and it’s something I haven’t heard before, I will let you go without so much as a ticket.” The man replies with “well officer, last week my wife ran off with a police officer, and I thought you were bringing her back.” The officer says to him “keep it under 70 from now on, sir.” And gets in his car and drives away.

My favorite thing about Canada is the different slang and pronunciation.

What I like about knives is that they are tools but can very easily be adapted to serve as a weapon if the need arises.
 
Q: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A: He couldn't concentrate!!!! (ba-doom-boom)

There are three things I love about Canada that stand out above the rest:
1. Red Green Show
2. Niagara Falls
3. Canadian Molson

The thing that I love about knives is that they chronicle our history as people. The ability to make tools is one of the things that separates us from the beasts, and the knife was one of the first tools that man made. Knives keep me in touch with my roots, and remind of how far we've come as a species.
 
Wow awesome giveaway, thanks for the chance.

Q. What do eskimos get for sitting on the ice too long?
A. Polaroids

What do I like most about Canada? The fishing
I like knives for their simple mixture of sheer artistry and practicality.

Thanks again!
 
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The Joke is.... OK ALL OF YOU!!!! HAND OVER YOUR KNIVES NOW!!!!!! THEY ARE MINE!

I love the lighthouses on the East coast, especially the ones where you need to wait for the tide to go out to access them on foot! Over all fantastic beauty and tranquillity from east to the west and north to the pole can be found as well as virtually un touched natural areas. If Franklin D. Roosevelt vacationed there it has to be good!

Just like Canada, a knife that is beautiful and useful at the same time, is a major work of art! Nothing like handling a tool that is warm to the touch and can complete cold hard tasks with ease and finesse.
 
Heck of a giveaway. Very nice.



Joke:

Guy just got divorced. New to the dating scene. Asks his buddy for some advice.

"Just be yourself" his buddy says

Guy: "What ? ... A horney, desperate, lonely guy on food stamps ? " ...


Canada:

Absoulutely gorgeous country

Knives:

They're VERY cool and you get to cut stuff ! ;)
 
A gracious giveaway. I don't wish to be entered but I'd still like to offer up a joke...

Little Johnny walks in on his mother and father during a most intimate act. Little Johnny reacts in horror.

"Mommy! Mommy! What are you doing to Daddy?!?"

"Oh Johnny, your Daddy was getting too fat so I was bouncing the air out of his belly," the mother replies.

Johnny thinks for a minute then says, "Well, I don't see how that's going to do any good, since the neighbour lady's just going to blow him back up again..."

Cheers to all! :)
 
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