Tradewater

DerekH said:
Quoted for truth.

I once saw him stumble upon a dead bird whilst on the trail. He reached down, picked the bird up, and while I didn't catch what he whispered to the bird, it immediately came back to life. It chirped and danced and started flapping it's wings when Trade reached over and snapped it's neck. "Leave things as you found em," he said to me.
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Ok now that's simply grimdark...

Leave only footprints take only pictures, to the extreme...


Tradewater actually never drank water because when water touches his lips it automatically become beer.
 
I hear that bastard once breached a Brinks truck with a toenail clipping.
I can call him "bastard" because he's my friend.
Don't mess with me. I'm with tradewater. :p
 
bigfoot has a tradewater research team roaming the woods weekly looking to get a glimpse of him!!
 
When the machines at Ka-Bar get worn out they send em to Trade he regrinds em.
 
Tradewater doesn't use prophylactics, instead immediately after coitus he points at the woman's womb and tells his swimmers "NO! Don't you go in there!". They have never disobeyed him.
 
Well Trade and Mrs Trade sent a welcome home gift for little Ernie. My wife was glaring at me when I came in from the mailbox with 4 boxes like what did you buy now? I opened this and I said "that crazy old bastard". In all seriousness Trade is a great guy and Im proud to have him as a friend. It is one big ass bottle Im thinking it must be for me :)

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Tradewater stropped this on his tongue:

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That is actually incorrect. He used that to shave his tongue.
 
Here's how tradewater takes a shot of whiskey.
It's a photo of him during his brief stint with Greenpeace.



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It only takes Tradewater 3.5 minutes to make beef jerky, he uses the immense natural heat emanating from his beard to dehydrate the meat at a rapid pace.
 
Tradewater invented the turducken not out of culinary want but rage and proximity of game birds.
 
This thread now has more views than the BK&T FAQ thread.
It's about to pass the Beckerhead hall of fame thread.

Tradewaters beard can throw an uppercut.
 
Jonny1280 said:
This thread now has more views than the BK&T FAQ thread.
It's about to pass the Beckerhead hall of fame thread.

Tradewaters beard can throw an uppercut.
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And a spark if you hit it with a sharp enough piece of flint!
 
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Tradewater
 
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