Will the Phantom of the Khukura rise again?...
- Thread starter Apothecary
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Only a Southerner knows poke is both a noun and a verb, as in "i'm a fixin' to put my pig in a poke, then serve all y'all lunch, we'll be having poke salad and chitlin's with some nice collard greens, and all the fixin's, i'll have to poke the missus to have her get a move on, directly". (that would come with grits of course, it's a given)
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Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "pitch" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess" o' any of them.
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Only a Southerner knows the general direction of, and the distance to, "yonder".
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Yes ma'am, we'll dispatch the ambulance to your house directly."
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be anywhere from 1 mile to 20 miles.
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Only a Southerner both knows and truly understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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Only Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb -- and can instantly give you example sentences.
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And only a Southerner would find no irony in the fact that "y'all" is singular, and "all y'all" is plural.
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Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "pitch" them.
- - -
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess" o' any of them.
- - -
Only a Southerner knows the general direction of, and the distance to, "yonder".
- - -
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Yes ma'am, we'll dispatch the ambulance to your house directly."
- - -
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.
- - -
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be anywhere from 1 mile to 20 miles.
- - -
Only a Southerner both knows and truly understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
- - -
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- - -
Only Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb -- and can instantly give you example sentences.
- - -
And only a Southerner would find no irony in the fact that "y'all" is singular, and "all y'all" is plural.
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I really don't find your poking of fun at my cultural heratige and family tradition humorous.
Please try again.
Please try again.
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now that's almost a hissie fit.
memaw will likely be over with the two-hole shootsgun directly i get her, she's just down the road from y'all 'bout 641 miles (she's a tad more nasty then pepaw). i rekon she'll learn y'all not to poke fun at me fer pokin' fun at usin's. besides texas is a whole 'nother ball-game compared to us in alabama, yer all a might more techy and bristly. we're mostly civilized there in cullman co., haven't strung nobody up in weeks, nor even tarred or feathered any strangers in weeks. we did damage a revenoor a few days ago, but he'll recover full use of his legs in a few months - memaw sends me the latest gossip by carrier pigeon, don't ya know.
memaw will likely be over with the two-hole shootsgun directly i get her, she's just down the road from y'all 'bout 641 miles (she's a tad more nasty then pepaw). i rekon she'll learn y'all not to poke fun at me fer pokin' fun at usin's. besides texas is a whole 'nother ball-game compared to us in alabama, yer all a might more techy and bristly. we're mostly civilized there in cullman co., haven't strung nobody up in weeks, nor even tarred or feathered any strangers in weeks. we did damage a revenoor a few days ago, but he'll recover full use of his legs in a few months - memaw sends me the latest gossip by carrier pigeon, don't ya know.
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the further nawth y'all live, the more it addles the grey matter i reckon. probly don't even serve grits with it way up there.
git on up to maryland and dellyware ands i guess it's grandmater and grandpater having the staff serve plantain pie.
i asked my deputy consul, Blue, to check, (his full registered name is Bonney Blue Flag)
an' he says far as he knows, it's pepaw and memaw mostly, y'all's dialect musta drifted a bit.
(actually we called granny 'granny' most of the time, sometimes grammaw, and banana is pronounced 'nanner of course, tho i'd rather have a few of granny's fried pies, or a pecan pie, now i've got me droolin' agin...)
git on up to maryland and dellyware ands i guess it's grandmater and grandpater having the staff serve plantain pie.
i asked my deputy consul, Blue, to check, (his full registered name is Bonney Blue Flag)
an' he says far as he knows, it's pepaw and memaw mostly, y'all's dialect musta drifted a bit.
(actually we called granny 'granny' most of the time, sometimes grammaw, and banana is pronounced 'nanner of course, tho i'd rather have a few of granny's fried pies, or a pecan pie, now i've got me droolin' agin...)
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Clearly it is time Her Majesty takes control of the colonies again. We'll soon sort out this Northern versus Southern business once and for all. Our friends the Canadians can march down and burn the whitehouse down again........
uhhh...
THAT would be an interesting march.
Do me a favor, will you? Have the Quebecois serve as outriders and scouts. Put 'em on vehicles we can use.
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uhhh...
THAT would be an interesting march.
Do me a favor, will you? Have the Quebecois serve as outriders and scouts. Put 'em on vehicles we can use.
that'd be one way to get the No. & the So. to (temporarily, most like) settle their differences, we all like to go frog huntin'.
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Clearly it is time Her Majesty takes control of the colonies again. We'll soon sort out this Northern versus Southern business once and for all. Our friends the Canadians can march down and burn the whitehouse down again........
No units raised in Canada were present in the area when the White House, national library, and other public buildings in Washington, D.C. were burned by the British Army. The 4th Rgt. of Foot (King's Own Royal Rgt.) claims credit for burning the White House.
Don't send troops. Send beer.
(Or at least keep the oil coming.)
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Thomas, Thomas, Thomas...
IF they send troops, OF COURSE they will have beer.
(decades ago, at international conferences, the Canadians...especially the Western Canadians...scared me. All in good humor, they were about to take a hospitality suite's furniture and set it up in the lobby of the Hotel. One them actually had a template to make sure the placement was accurate. Hospitality suite cruising always ended at the Canadian's suite. Just the way they were. Great folks.)
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continental dollars are of course obsolete, can you pay in something useful like confederate dollars?
Now thats a bit wierd. In the Glaswegian slang as used by my parents 'yir mawsmaw' is your grandmother on your mothers side and 'yir dasda' is your grandfather on your fathers side. I have never heard or read anything that was even close, then I see it in your Southern dictionary o.0
The worlds a smaller place than you think.
The worlds a smaller place than you think.
YAWN...ROLL CALL YOU...............................BALD,UNFIT FOR DUTY, MISBEGOTTEN,LOWLIFE .WHIMPS....KISMET,LINTON,SAMURAI,WILDMANH,SEMPER FI(THE POT GUTTED HOLLYWOOD MARINE),ROGER SMITH(THE DURBA"THIEF") AC(YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF "UGLY") & THE "INDIAN"... & LOWEST OF THE LOW "THE PILLPUSHER" THE BLUES & KOS....DON'T COUNT....THEY ARE "GENTLEMEN"(PUKE)! I wake up fire up the computor & get a bad smell...knew what it was & where to find it...THE CANTINA!If I had your fat lazy butts here...I would have one of the LADIES COUNT CADIENCE (SEMPER FI can just misstep cause he doesn't remember DRILL) & get ya'll in shape....SIGH....may be too late.....SNIFF....HAV A LIMEY TRYING TO BE A SOUTHERNER...OK..KRO...GET YOUR BUTT IN LINE....YOU ARE NOW A MEMBER OF THE "MISBEGOTTEN"!What a group...all of ya should be JAILED!!
I'm going back to get my beauty sleep!
THE DUCK!
PS DON'T WORRY LINTON & OTHERS...YA'LL AIN'Y FORGOTTEN!
I'm going back to get my beauty sleep!
THE DUCK!
PS DON'T WORRY LINTON & OTHERS...YA'LL AIN'Y FORGOTTEN!
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Thank you, sweetie.
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my butt has never been in alignment, tho i've stood in many a line, formation, passed in review, etc.
y'all can have a look at my website, it shows a picture of the C.S.A Consulate & staff, with details on them. i'm more of a southerner slowly turning into a limey....
y'all can have a look at my website, it shows a picture of the C.S.A Consulate & staff, with details on them. i'm more of a southerner slowly turning into a limey....
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Texas is indeed NOT the South. We commiserate and sometimes interbreed, but we consider ourselves to be pretty much a separate country from the USA. We love America, but that's just how it is.
wildmanh
Part time Leather Bender/Sheath maker
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YAWN...ROLL CALL YOU...............................BALD,UNFIT FOR DUTY, MISBEGOTTEN,LOWLIFE .WHIMPS....KISMET,LINTON,SAMURAI,WILDMANH,SEMPER FI(THE POT GUTTED HOLLYWOOD MARINE),ROGER SMITH(THE DURBA"THIEF") AC(YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF "UGLY") & THE "INDIAN"... & LOWEST OF THE LOW "THE PILLPUSHER" THE BLUES & KOS....DON'T COUNT....THEY ARE "GENTLEMEN"(PUKE)! I wake up fire up the computor & get a bad smell...knew what it was & where to find it...THE CANTINA!If I had your fat lazy butts here...I would have one of the LADIES COUNT CADIENCE (SEMPER FI can just misstep cause he doesn't remember DRILL) & get ya'll in shape....SIGH....may be too late.....SNIFF....HAV A LIMEY TRYING TO BE A SOUTHERNER...OK..KRO...GET YOUR BUTT IN LINE....YOU ARE NOW A MEMBER OF THE "MISBEGOTTEN"!What a group...all of ya should be JAILED!!
I'm going back to get my beauty sleep!
THE DUCK!
PS DON'T WORRY LINTON & OTHERS...YA'LL AIN'Y FORGOTTEN!
Hey, how did I get into that mix? I was the one inquiring about your health and missing your insite.
Heber