but I just want a Jarbenza and Tommy is selling it for a dollar and they're Two dollars everywhere else but he wants me to gift him cause the fees are too high and he don't want to pay em and I don't want to pay em so now what?...
Send Tommy a line. Tell him you want the Jarbenza. Tell him you will purchase a US Postal Money Order for the sale price. Tell him you'll send him that. Tell him you are going to Copy the Money Order and Post the Copy before you send it. Tell him when he goes to the Post Office he can cash that Money Order right there at the service counter.
but if I do that then I don't have any protection in case, in case, in case something goes wrong and I'm dissatisfied
You don't have any protection against dissatisfaction the moment you choose 'Gift' as an option. Ask Tommy to send you the knife C.O.D. and after you inspect it, you will send him the Post Office Money Oder,
but he says that is a tremendous leap of faith on his part
...uhm,...WTF?
Actually, a USPS Money Order does offer protection: accepting a money order and not delivering the goods is mail fraud - a federal felony.